#GOD DAMNIT I NEED MORE SONGS SO FUCKIN BAD

[mushtoons]

MR JALAPENO!!!! RELEASE ACT 2 OF EPIC!!! AND MY LIFE!!! IS URS !!!!!!

I NEED THE FULL SONG OF GET IN THE WATER

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE CHARACTER SONG Vol.7 Seiron Syndrome by Mukami Yuma Mini Drama ”A Sweet Lesson”

Original title: 甘美な教え

Source: Diabolik Lovers CHARACTER SONG Vol. 7 Mini Drama

Audio: Here

Seiyuu: Tatsuhisa Suzuki

Translator’s note: As a teacher who also taught at middle school for one year, I totally sympathize with the MC in having to try and teach someone who clearly does not care about learning at all lol. Although I guess in Yuma’s case, it’s a little more justified since these guys have been alive for a long time and they can perfectly survive without getting their degree so it must be pretty annoying to have to keep up with high school. :p Especially someone like Yuma who clearly wants to work with his hands and not with his brains. 

Yuma bursts into your room. 

“ーー Oi, Sow!! Teach me this school shit! ...If I don’t pass the upcomin’ midterms, Ruki will have my head on the choppin’ block for real.”

He walks up to you.

“Ah, god...What’s the big deal ‘bout gettin’ a couple of bad grades? Vampires don’t even need school for anythin’...! Come on, make some space for me at yer desk!”

*Rustle*

Yuma takes a seat.

“I brought the textbook and my notes with me, but I honestly have no fuckin’ clue what any of this shit means. ...I want ya to help me remember everythin’! Then if I still fail regardless, I can at least put the blame on ya instead...Right?”

“Ah, fuck off...! All ya need to do is do a proper job, right!? Get started already!”

You start teaching him.

*Scribble scribble*

“...I’ve never even heard of a grammar rule like that.” 

You frown.

“I can’t help it...! God, shut up! I just gotta get it inside my head, right!? Argh, damnit!”

*Crunch*

“...Ah? Ya want me to stop chewin’ sugar? Don’t ya know!? The brain needs carbs to remember all this crap!”

*Crunch*

*Flip*

“Ah! T-The doodles on that page areーー It’s nothin’ important!”

You chuckle.

“Hey, don’t laugh! Fuck...”

*Scribble scribble*

“...Why do we need midterms anyway? Damnit, I can’t be bothered with this shit...”

*Thud*

You flinch.

“God...Stop gettin’ scared over every lil’ thing. ...Whatever. I’ll just tell Ruki that it’s yer fault that I failed my exams. See ya!”

Yuma tries to leave but you stop him.

*Rustle*

“...!? Che...Don’t tug onto my clothes...”

You try to reason with him.

“...Hah? Ya can bet yer ass that I’m tellin’ him it’s yer fault! I don’t give a damn ‘bout how ya feel ‘bout it!”

You pout.

“Ahー Fuck! I wanna just go and water my plants already! So what if I’ve been failin’ my tests!? I’m goin’ to school at least so isn’t that the most important thing!?”

You tell him that he could always repeat his year.

“Ya really think I’m gonna stoop to the same level as that fuckin’ Sakamaki NEET and be held back a year!? God...! I just gotta do this shit, right!? ...But I’m only doin’ this one page today! ...’Kay, shoot me some questions. I gotta explain what these words mean, right?”

You pose question one.

“Haah...? I’ve never even heard of that word before...! I bet yer pronunciation just sucks! Read it one more time.

You repeat the word.

“Haha...Hahaha...Nah, got no clue. ...Ahー This isn’t gettin’ anywhere...I think I’ll go tell Ruki that yer a lousy tutor after all. ...Ah...This pisses me off...I’ll have some Sugar-chaーー”

*Cling*

“Ah!? Che...The jar’s empty...”

*Rustle*

“Hey, gimme yer blood. ...My irritation level has reached its peak now that I’ve run out of sugar on top of bein��� forced to study.”

He pins you down.

*Thud*

“I think I might feel a lil’ better if I have a sip of yer blood...Come on, where do ya want me to bite ya? Tell me.”

You protest.

“Haah!? ‘Let me go’!? God...That wasn’t the question...Guess I gotta punish that mouth of yers for spoutin’ bullcrap...”

*Rustle rustle*

“Ugh...”

 Yuma bites you.

*Sluuuurp*

“Nnh...Hah...Does it hurt, huh? Don’t talk back...It’d be a shame if yer blood were to drip down from the side of yer lips and go to waste...Nnh...”

*Sluuuurp*

“It’s kinda sweet...I bet you’ve been snackin’ on my Sugar-chan behind my back, haven’t ya?”

You shake your head.

“Don’t lie. Nnh...”

*Sluuuurp*

*Rustle rustle*

“Hahn...Nnh...Both yer lips and yer blood are kinda sweet for some reason...Anyway, guess I’ll suck from here next...Nnh...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Mm...Mmh...”

*Sluuuurp*

“...Hah. What? You’re tremblin’...Are ya expectin’ more perhaps? Hehe...Ya really are a Sow at heart. I can’t believe you’re gettin’ a kick outta havin’ yer blood sucked...”

*Sluuuurp*

“Hah...No more studyin’, huh? Hehe. Guess we’re partners in crime now.”

*Rustle*

“It’s all yer fault...So ya better don’t think ya can get out of this...Hahn...”

*Sluuuurp*

“I’ll savor ya thoroughly...Mmh...”

*Sluuuurp*

ーー THE END ーー

[leviathancries]

tragic love songs to study to (vol. 5)

[DUCKBOY] (2023)

Tragic Love Songs To Study To is Ruby da Cherry (from $uicideboy$) newest solo project. Going by the name DUCKBOY for this album adding to his ever-growing list of aliases. Personally something I have been waiting for, for a long fucking time. Ruby (DUCKBOY) managed to tap into his roots in punk and created this mini album. Much to the upset of most of his zoomer iPad baby fanbase who only want KILL MYSELF! DRUGS! SATAN!!! music.

Track 1: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"You may hang up or press 1 for more options"

To be honest as an intro track I have heard better, It does set a pretty good (dial)tone for the theme of the album. (people bothering him and trying to call him)

Track 2: ROUGAROU (i've become the monster

"Let's pull back the tide and see if the moon is dead!"

ROUGAROU starts off the album strong with that signature 2000's emo pop-punk vibe. I'm a huge fan of Ruby in general but I feel on songs like this his potential as an artist shines best. His style of singing is so suited to this type of song and it's a shame he hasn't made music like this sooner lol. (yeah before you try and be a smart ass I have listened to his punk shit from his old bands, ur not cool for knowing that) Also the hook of the song is so fucking catchy it's been stuck in my head since the album came out. "I HAVE ALL NIGHT TO HUNT, I PROMICE TO PROTECT YOU WITH MY CURSE!" insane.

Track 3: where y'at, duckboy?

"Oh my god, call me ASAP..."

Interesting choice to put an interlude as the 3rd track on the album, but it is only a 7 song album so I guess it is more forgivable. That being said I actually really like this song. It carries on with the theme of people calling Ruby and bothering him. The simple hip-hop trap beat with that smooth bass kinda fucks to be honest.

Track 4: XXL hadron collider

"I ain't crying over spilt milk, but who's gonna clean this mess?"

Track four thrusts us right back in that 2000s emo mindset. Singing about suicide and betrayal has never been so cool to be honest. This is probably my favorite song on the album solely because it has such a nostalgic sound to it. This song just reminds me of being super young watching AMV's on YouTube in 2008. Like listen to this song and tell me this doesn't remind you of that. And again Ruby flexes on us with his talent of writing catchy hooks. Also the vocal style switch up between verse one and two is unmatched.

Track 5: ​my love life needs a lobotomy

"I spent the whole night throwing up your spiiit!"

Track four and five seamlessly flow into one another. I mean the song is only 41 seconds so it's pretty much just verse three of track four separated into it's own track. BUT IT'S A FUCKING GOOD SONG DAMNIT! like really fucking good. Not really much else to say about this one.

Track 6: where y’at, duckboy​?? "Call me back dawg..."

Another interlude. More voicemails. More chill-hop beats. If I had to compare this one to the other interlude I prefer the other one. Although the girl who says "Thank you" at the end sounds cute :3

Track 7: ​after further reasoning, i’m going to bed

"I'll live as long as my little lungs last!"

Last track of the album. Track seven is another pop-punk song, using catchy guitar riffs and upbeat drums. Ruby shows off his versatile voice on this song using different vocal styles and a good variety of pitch. Homeboy went crazy not gonna lie. Another memorable song IMO. Just another thing to add to my long, long list of good Ruby songs and verses.

Overview: tragic love songs to study to (vol. 5)

I know I was essentially throating Ruby in this review but what can I say? I love the dude. He's a huge inspiration for me. Personal opinions aside ill say the good and bad about the album as a whole.

It's fuckin' short. Like short as fuck. Like out of the 7 songs we have an intro and 2 interludes. That only leaves 4 actual songs, one of which is only 41 seconds long. That being said, the full songs on this album are fucking amazing. Like really, really good. If you are into 2000s pop-punk, emo nostalgia shit. Check this out. The songs are super catchy, well produced and well written. This album has been a long time coming since Ruby has hinted at a solo project for years and I'm hoping for more in the future!

Rating: 8/10

If there's any typos or inconsistencies in this review it's because I can't be bothered to proof read it.

[c4pricornc4ts]

"April Fool's bitch! Also can I move in with you?" - OriginsSMP one-shot

Happy April Fools! - Read it on ao3 here!

Words: 2k Characters: Tommy, Tubbo, Niki, Wilbur

“It’s April Fools Day, I’m pranking him.” He points to his chest with his thumb proudly. “So he needs to borrow some of your lake. Just till he wakes up.”

Niki laughs, she had forgotten about April fools day. It wasn’t really something she ever did. Or cared to do. But this seemed harmless enough. So she nods and goes to guide his float all the way back to the middle of the river before the sun rises any more.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Niki wakes up and immediately notices something very different. There was a large object floating on the surface, and it definitely wasn’t a mob she knew. Unless Minecraft had updated? Surely she would have known. She stares up at it from her ocean bed for another minute, working up the courage to swim up to it.

Well, it didn’t seem hostile. It didn’t really seem like a fish at all, but it was so early in the morning there wasn’t really a lot of light to tell by. So, at four in the morning, Niki finds herself swimming up to the surface.

She breaks through the water and takes a minute to adjust to the land. Her eyesight was worse up here. But it wasn’t so bad. Tubbo was working on some glasses for her, but apparently, the whole ‘needing to be waterproof’ thing is giving him some trouble. She didn’t blame him, it was a little troublesome.

Niki gasps when she realizes it isn’t an animal but rather a certain very loud, very not into sleeping at low altitudes, Tommy. She immediately grabs the air mattress he’s somehow still asleep on and slowly pulls him over to land. She’s about to wake him up when someone starts talking.

“Hey! Niki!” It’s a hushed voice, with a hint of excitement in it. Niki jumps a little but tries to stay quiet as well.

“Hello? Who are you?”

“It’s me, Niki! Your best pal. Duh.” Sure enough, Tubbo with his brown hair and signature oversized green shirt struggles to get out of the bush he was hiding in.

“Well I don’t know about ‘best.’”

He sits down in front of her and pushes a still sleeping Tommy back into the river. “You wound me, Niki.”

“Why did you just push him back?” She tilts her head at him, bracing for some sort of overly complicated answer. It was a coin toss whether she’d understand a single thing in Tubbo’s explanations.

“It’s April Fools Day, I’m pranking him.” He points to his chest with his thumb proudly. “So he needs to borrow some of your lake. Just till he wakes up.”

Niki laughs, she had forgotten about April fools day. It wasn’t really something she ever did. Or cared to do. But this seemed harmless enough. So she nods and goes to guide his float all the way back to the middle of the river before the sun rises any more.

--------------------------------------------

Tommy wakes up to the sun in his eyes and a pounding headache. He looks around, confused when he sees trees instead of the usual mountain peaks. And more confused by the fact his hands are sinking into something that is definitely not his bed.

“JACK FUCKIN’ MANIFOLD, WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?” He carefully gets on his knees, not sure how stable afloat in the middle of a lake is.

It surprises him when Jack doesn’t appear, but Niki does. Which really shouldn’t surprise him at all, because, well, he’s kinda sleeping in her house.

“This one wasn’t Jack, unfortunately. But it wasn’t me either before you get mad at the person who is about to rescue you.”

Tommy narrows his eyes at her. “So you know who did it then?”

Both of their attentions shift to Tubbo, who just fell out of the bush he was hiding in. Clutching his stomach in laughter.

“Oh, you shulk! Just wait till I get over there I’ll-” He looks around him and realizes there's really no way for him to get over to the shore. Well besides swimming and he doesn’t want to be wet and have a migraine this early in the morning. “Niki, if you will.”

She nods, trying not to laugh at him which the avian appreciates.

Once they finally reach the grass, Tubbo helps him off the bed, and the three talk.

“Now how the hell did you manage to get me out there and what the hell are you gonna do to fix this headache I have from sleeping so low?” He rubs his head to make a point, now that he’s not so focused on getting out of the water it hurts a lot more.

“One question at a time sheesh Tommy. I got Philza to help me. Not sure how you slept through that.”

“Tommy’s just used to flying I think, Philza has carried him a lot.” Niki joins from the water.

“So you’re telling me I have to go get mad at him too?” Tommy turns to Niki very seriously. “Tell me you weren’t in on this too.”

“Oh don’t worry Tommy, I was just as confused why you were in the middle of the river.”

“Well, I’m just glad someone likes me and doesn’t want me dead!” He turns back to Tubbo and crosses his arms.

“Oh come on you didn’t die!” Tubbo is laughing at his dramatics, and Tommy can’t deny he wants to laugh too. It’s a good prank, at least all he got was a headache. If this had happened to Ranboo…

“Yeah, and that’s a bad thing for you, I’ll get revenge Tubbo.” He gets up, waving bye to Niki before heading to someone who he knows would help him get revenge.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way. See you later Toms! Bye Niki!” Tommy doesn’t say anything back, just focusing on getting to Wilbur’s house.

------------------------------------------

He doesn’t bother to knock, knowing Wilbur is probably asleep. He usually was during the day, being a phantom and all. He does knock on the bedroom door once however, he’s not completely rude.

“Wilbur, I need your help, it's an emergency.”

Wilbur gets up hearing that, feeling around his bedside table for his glasses. He almost knocks over a cup of water in the process which Tommy catches.

“Wh-what’s wrong Tommy?” He finally puts his glasses on and looks up at him. “You seem too happy to have a real emergency. God damnit Toms what did I say about-”

“Nope, no, save the lecture for after I tell you what I woke you up for.”

“Alright.” The phantom sits back down. “Tell me your ‘emergency.’”

“Tubbo and Philza pranked me and I need your help getting him back.”

“You wake me up, and scare the shit out of me for a prank war?” Wilbur’s looking up at him with an unimpressed face, waiting for a real answer.

Tommy plays with his hands and smiles nervously. “Um… yes?”

Wilbur sighs and falls back on his bed. “I’m in. What’s your plan?”

“So glad you asked. It’s simple really.” Tommy sits down on the bed as well, grabbing a notepad and pen off the dresser and tearing off the top page that was full of what looked like song lyrics. “Wilbur are you sad again?”

“What? No. That has nothing to do with your prank anyway.”

“Okay, sure.” Tommy writes ‘bring up another time’ on the top of the notepad. Wilbur laughs and slaps the whole thing out of his hands.

“Just tell me the plan, you fuckin’ vegan.”

“Alright, so I was thinking I just toss a glass of water at his face.”

“That’s kinda lame compared to what he pulled off.” Wilbur laughs.

“So? He had time, probably planned that stupid prank for months! I have hours. And he hates getting surprised so it’s perfect really.”

“Look, I have some bubble wrap. We’ll put that under his rug and you can still do your stupid water shit when he’s still figuring out why his rug sounds like fireworks.”

“Okay weird plan but sure. Where is the bubble wrap? I’ll speed walk it to Tubbo’s treehouse.” He gets up off the bed, waiting for the phantom to do the same.

“It’s in the living room, go ahead and go over. I’ll have to be invisible.” He leaves Wilbur and starts the walk to Tubbo’s house, careful not to run into anyone on the way.

He likes Tubbo’s treehouse, it always felt so personal. Almost everything Tubbo had in it was handmade. Tommy had even reluctantly helped with some things. Like the rug in the entrance. They had lined it with thin pieces of oak and carved their initials into it.

He climbs up the ladder into the trees and lets himself into a thankfully empty treehouse. When he lifts up the rug to place the bubble wrap under, he smiles when he sees their initials and stupid little drawings were still scratched into it. He never checks it when Tubbo is around, always insisting it was dumb of them to have done.

He goes to the kitchen and is looking for a cup when Wilbur appears behind him.

“How’s it going?”

Tommy yelps and turns around, hand on his chest. “Wilbur! Don’t scare me like that damnit!”

“Ah, yes. My bad. Forgot that avians were fragile.” Wilbur retorts, causing Tommy to just roll his eyes.

“Well, at least I don’t need to wear a stupid hat in the sun.” The hat was oversized and very floppy but for some reason, Wilbur insisted it was stylish. Tommy didn’t know when blue sun hats with red ribbons came into style, but whatever kept his friend from dying in the sun was okay in his book.

“It not stupid it’s-”

“-Stylish, I know. Keep lying to yourself, Wilby.”

They both pause, Tommy turns back and picks a cup. Wilbur sits on the counter, swinging his legs.

“Sometimes I wish I just accepted his offer to live here. It’s kinda… lonely at night.” He regrets it as soon as he says it, but looking at all the art and knickknacks Tubbo has scattered around his kitchen just makes Tommy feel at home. More than his own house.

“I can’t believe you didn’t. Were you hoping Philza would take you?”

“Yeah. I suppose I was. God, how stupid am I?”

“Stupid enough to choose avian as your class.” Wilbur jokes and hops off the counter before continuing. “You know, Tubbo’s a good kid. Betcha if you told him you changed your mind he’d let you.”

They both look at the cup of water Tommy just filled, planning to throw at Tubbo. “Then maybe we shouldn’t prank him back…”

Tommy goes to pour out the water, Wilbur stops him. “We absolutely should prank him back! He’s a strange kid, he’ll appreciate it.”

“I thought he was a good kid.”

“He’s both. He’s also a fuckin shulker.”

Tommy laughs. “Like if true!”

They hear the door creak open and Tommy flattens himself against the kitchen wall, gripping the cup of water so tight his fingers are turning white. Wilbur quickly makes himself invisible.

Tommy hears the popping, flinching from how loud it is. Wilbur was right, it did sound like fireworks. He hears Tubbo yelp before throwing the water at his face as he runs into the kitchen.

Tubbo trips on seemingly nothing and falls. “Oh my god, Tommy!”

He starts to get actually concerned for the shulker so he kneels down to check on him. Tubbo flicks water onto his face and laughs.

“I was starting to think you weren’t going to.”

“My damn headache didn’t let me forget.”

“Well, I think that fall gave me one too, or maybe a concussion.”

“April fools bitch! Also can I please move in with you?”

“Haha- Wait what?” Tubbo gets up. “Oh come on now Tommy you already pranked me once this joke is actually cruel.”

“No it’s not a joke, I promise. It’s just- you live up high and we could split the chores you know…?”

“Sure, chores are what made you want to live with me.”

“Yep! Chores. So can I?” He gets up and then reaches his hand towards Tubbo to help him up. He notices the window is open, Wilbur must’ve left.

“... Clean the puddle on my floor and we’ll talk.”

[pedros-mustache-main]

Hey can I request 35 with Joe?

35. they jump into your car breathless and tell you to keep driving

iconic. peak joe energy.

it happens in broad daylight.

you’re sat at a red light, fingers tapping on your steering wheel to whatever inane song plays on the radio. the people of manhattan pass by, their steps hurried and impatient, ears beneath headphones, eyes obscured by sunglasses. it’s summer, and the day is hot. frigid air blows across your face, and the dash temperature reads ninty-five degrees. it’s a scorcher, and one you’re eager to be home for, not in the middle of a busy intersection.

you sigh as the wait continues. not for the first time, you consider pulling out your phone and timing how long the light remains red. there’s no way it’s even between the four stops. just as you’re about to reach for your phone, the passenger door opens. you freeze, leaning halfway across the console, your hands hovering in mid-air.

a man, auburn haired and sun-kissed, slides into the passenger seat. his knees knock the dashboard with the force of his entrance, and he gestures toward the light with a frenzy that makes your heart stutter.

“drive, damnit, drive!”

before you can think twice, you lay your foot against the gas pedal—hard. the car surges forward, and your hands are white-knuckled around the steering wheel. a myriad of thoughts filter through your mind. you’ve listened to true crime podcasts; you know what’s going to happen. the guy’s going to overpower you, twist into a back alley, and slit your throat. you’ll be the next story on your favorite show.

your eyes flit from the road to the man, and your voice wobbles when you speak. “oh my god, please don’t kill me!”

he looks at you like you’re the crazy one, his forehead twisted in confusion. “kill you? what the hell?”

“what do you mean ‘what the hell’? you’re the one who got in my car?! what am i supposed think you’re about to do?”

he shakes his head, running both hands through his hair. “i’m not gonna kill you. jesus... i just need you to help me win a race.”

you scoff. “excuse me?”

“a race,” he says. “me and my friends are in a race to see who can get to times square first.”

“so you hopped in the closest car you saw?” you slow as a UPS truck swerves into your lane.

he grits his teeth, tilting his body as you maneuver around the car. “nobody said anything about not using our resources.” he shifts in the seat, leaning forward. “can you go a little faster?”

“you’re fuckin’ insane.”

“maybe, but i want to win fifty bucks.”

the car is silent for the rest of the drive. his legs bounce with anxiety, your underarms sweat. you keep wondering if this is all part of a prank show or some bad youtube video, but when you pull into times square, the congestion of the road increasing every ten feet, he seems more and more pleased with himself. his smile, bright and brilliant in the dark interior of your car, grows.

“ha! sorry bastards,” he says. “never try and beat a native around town.” he elbows you, and, though you know you shouldn’t, you smile. “you know?”

“where do you want me to drop you off?”

he shrugs and glances at the new red light. “i’ll just get out here.” opening the door, he hops out into the paused traffic. his hand braced against the roof, he leans down. “thanks. sorry you thought i was gonna kill you.” he nods to the seat. “i left my number on the back of a gum wrapper. call me some time, yeah? i’m joe.”

then he slams the door and disappears within the crowd before you can get a word in edge wise. you stare after him, shock coursing through your body.

there’s a knock on your window, and this time you do scream, jumping in your seat. turning, you face two men, both blond, both handsome. with a groan, you roll down the window.

“no, you cannot get in my car,” you say flatly.

“is that how he did it? god, gwil, i told you he’d cheat.”

“the fucker.” the taller man—gwil—shakes his head. “sorry to bother. we’re just looking for our friend.”

“joe?”

the younger man removes his sunglasses. “kinda short, crazy eyes, charming despite himself?”

you nod your head to the left. “that’s the one. he went that way.”

later that night, as your mulling over the moment for the tenth time, you unearth your phone from your bedsheets. the gum wrapper with joe’s number, hastily written and barely legible, sits on your side table. you pull open a new message.

i think you owe me a drink after that stunt, you text.

a minute later your phone pings: i can do that. 

[bibibuckleyy]

my thoughts on ‘The taking of Dispach 9-1-1′

this was SUCH a good episode from start to finish! *pulls out a slide show* Now i’ll show you breaking down every. single. scene-

jk lmao...unless?

spoilers below the cut!

lord. have. mercy.

these hoes are givin me major heist vibes

tiffany bby ur the driver but for me to acknowledge you as such you better be Letty Ortiz good hun

wow these thugs are a lot my organized than i first thought like i know they was carryin guns but i aint know they was packin this much like damn

Oceans 8 who?

so i wanna know where they just...got a cop car???

OH HELL NAH Y’ALL BEST NOT MESS WITH TERRY

I MEAN ANA MAY BE HIS SISTER

AND  SHE MAY BE MAKIN MOVES ON EDDIE 

BUT IN THIS HOUSE WE LOVE TERRY FLORES SO YOU GET YOUR GUN AWAY FROM SUNSHINE BBY

it’s kinda funny rewatching this scene when you know what’s about to go down

like i’m cacklin like ‘oh shooooot dramaaaa’

but i’m also like ‘SOMEONE GRAB JOSH AND RUN’

“temporary maintenance, happens all the time” cool cool cool 

i’m not freakin out you’re freakin out

josh and maddie are like friend goals i love their dynamic like yoooo

hi yes could you please get that gun away from terry’s head i would really appreciate it.

OMG SECURITY DUDE NOOOO

wow ur like the only line of defense in the dispatch center and they just kicked ur ass

is this where our tax dollars are goin??

fly high josh’s mug, fly high

that absolute look of fear on his face tho, still breaks my heart

josh russo defense squad post up homies

“i love you, howie” nope nope nope didn’t like it the second time either

when that gun went off

LET ME TELL YOU

i just,,,waited for the blood to start comin out of terry

thank god it wasn’t him

good scene lmaooo 9-1-1 writers i hate you all lmao lmao

“bees are the least of your troubles here, sweetheart” I HATE YOU DUDE

someone call mama grant please

“we’ve got dispatch” i do not like this ma’am i’d like to speak to the manager

“you’ll shoot us” man shut the hell up-

“no, we’ll shoot the person next you you” this dude is insane

lookin like mr.clean’s evil cousin LMAOOOOO

“you only do something like this so you can do something...worse”

um whAT-

“you’re being paranoid, she’s fine” CHIMNEY NO NO NO

i don’t think i’ve ever thrown this much popcorn at my tv in my life

as chimney said “don’t do it man” just picture a 5′5 lightskinned girl tripping over her blanket while yelling “DO IT CHIM, DO IT!” and you’ll have me

“sorry, we are experiencing a high call volume” BITCH MORE LIKE A HIGH CRIME VOLUME SOMEBODY GET MAMA GRANT DAMNIT-

*screams* BUUUUUUUUCK 

HI BBY

ooh nice shirt, i guess pink isn’t the only color that suits ya

he looks good in all the colors

whole damn snaaaaack

not to be an idiot on main but seriously, who watches the watchmen?

“i miss like an earthquake or something?” lmao chim is a whole vibe

“wait....why are you calling 9-1-1, is everything ok?” paired with that cute adorable concerned face he made is making me cry ok we don’t deserve buck T-T

“she’s at the call center, what could happen?” AT LOT ACTUALLY

OH THANK YOU JESUS IT’S ATHENA FUCKIN FINALLY 

*cries* mama grant you won’t believe the day i’ve had

“he’s my husband” LMAOOOOO WHAT

whoa tiffany we’ve already had our fair share of mail bombs here that bet’ not be what i think it is

THE PACKAGE IS VIBRATING AND BLINKING TAKE COVER-

ohhhhhhhhhh

it’s just takin out the security systems lmao 

“technical difficulties” BITCH MORE  LIKE CRIMINAL DIFFICULTIES

“i bet this woman really thinks you’re...worthwhile.” JOSH BBY DON’T LISTEN TO A WORD HE SAYS EVERYONE LOVES YOU

ahaha thanks i did not need those flashbacks it hurt enough the first time 

“a woman called about an omelet, i dispatched an officer”

“to the restaurant?”

“not exactly”

???

“i tried calling josh, but no answer” aww josh and buck are friendssssss :)

JOSH HAS BEEN ADOPTED BY THE FIREFAM PASS IT ON

:0

JOSH YOU GENIUS

YOU SMART SMART CINNAMON ROLL

MAMA GRANT IT’S TIME TO MAKE SOME MOVES

“nO NO CHIMNEY DON’T HANG UP!” i shouldn’t have laughed so hard

oh great he’s hastily grabbing his jacket. he’s about to do something rash and irresponsible

....someone call eddie.

that’s some good heist music right there

the bad guys look stressed....good.

“you’re here so i can keep an eye on you and make sure you don’t do anything foolish” BUT YOU LEFT BUCK

OK BUCK I LOVE YOU BBY

BUT YOU HAVE THIS HABIT OF TURNIN INTO SPECIAL AGENT 007 REAL FAST WHEN YOUR FRIENDS ARE IN TROUBLE MAN

LIKE

HE’S THE ‘EVERYONE BEFORE ME’ MEMBER OF THE FIREFAM

mama grant i ain’t questionin your authority or nun but like???

WHY WOULD YOU NOT KEEP AN EYE ON BUCK TOO?

HE’S THE MOST LIKELY CANDIDATE TO DO SOMETHIN STUPID

thats some reckless drivin there buckaroo

buck who were you tryna fool tho

athena only knows one golden retriever dude in this city who drives a grey and black jeep

“ok now, don’t be mad” LMAOOOOOOOO

HANDS DOWN ONE OF MY FAVE SCENES

HE KNEW HIS MOM WAS PISSED TOO LMAOOOO

athena’s look is sending meeeeee 😂😂

omg my god😭😂

“hey buck”

“...hey chim”

athena has some dumbass kids yo

the best part is, she knows it

the way mr. clean broke his neck when dude said ‘police cruiser’ LMAOOOO

“and if it’s not normal?”

“we’ll find out”

*blasts boss bitch*

i love the way buck is kinda concerned for his mom tho

and athena’s just like ‘it’s no sweat sweetie i do this every day’

“shoot her”

BITCH I HOPE THE FUCK YOU DO

YOU’LL BE A DEAD SON OF A BITCH

I’LL TELL YOU THAT

“shoot her, now”

try her bitch, see what happens to yo ass. 

the 118

the call center

the entire fandom 

we will collectively end you

“we got a report of a code 77″

THANK GOD THAT GOT ATHENA OUT OF THERE

what is a code 77 you say?

“ambush, proceed with caution”

well it sure nuff aint indecent exposure

*boss bitch keeps playing cause that was super smart for her to give out a code 77*

“maddie is smart, she can take care of herself until help gets there”

HELL YEA SHE CAN

SHE KICKED DOUG’S ASS SHE’LL KICK YOURS TOO

“they’re not gonna wanna leave behind a room full of witnesses”

i’m-i’m fine, i swear-

“killing people, your solution to every problem”

excuse me? do i hear morals??

they’re really fighting each other

they some grade a stupid right there 

there’s no way they are pullin this off

terry

terry what are you doing

TERRY

RUN TERRY RUN GO GO GO

OH SHIT

JOSHHHHHHHH

i thought they were gonna shoot terry

BUT JOSH CAME THROUGH IN THE CLUTCH

wowwwwww dispatch is a lot more badass than i thought

these dudes are hard core

OH

OH JOSH NO BBY

THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HURT

aii square tf up mr. clean we don’t hit josh here and you gon have to pay for that one

the way everyone is just quietly sobbing tho

it saddens me

“I need another thirty minutes”

i’m really enjoying watching this dude’s plan crumble around him

swat posted up aii i see yall

“we’ll try to get eyes in a damn windowless room”

well when you put it that way it sounds like this is hopeless

“i’m sorry i thought you were crazy”

“i’m sorry i wasn’t”

wow i don’t think i was supposed to laugh at that

and chim bein concerned for maddie is literally one if the best things ever y’all.

completely unrelated note, anybody else see bad boys for life?

“yeah i’m ok, my ears are just ringing a little” with the TEARS and the SNIFFLES and him SMILING THROUGH THE PAIN JOSH IS TOO PURE FOR THIS 

“why do you think we asked for so many RA units?” BITCH I KNOW YOU FUCKIN LYIN

for those of y’all that ain’t kno, RA units are rescue ambulance units

way to reassure people, lady

it’s like she said ‘everyone might be lightly shot by the time this is all over’

“so you are worried. it makes sense, cause all your friends keep dissappearing are they even in the same building?” WITH THAT LOOK OF STRAIGHT SPITE DAMN MADDIE BUCKLEY, DAMNNN

we stan the BAMF BUCKLEYS

“oh my god, LINDA??” lo key thought this was real for a second

“latex! is there latex in your gloves?” greg come on man you planned a heist you can’t be this stupid

SURPRISE! LINDA IS ALLERGIC TO BEES

ENJOY YOUR EPINEPHRINE ASSHOLE

OH

OH WOW

WOW DISPATCH

Y’ALL JUST-

WOW

EVERYONES GOT GUNS AND EVERYTHING OH MY GODDDDD

GIVE IT UP FOR DISPATCH 

you know it’s really funny, cause tiffany ain’t nowhere to be found

“next one goes in your head” OOOOOOOOOOOH SHE’S A BOSS ASS BITCH BROOO YESSSSSSS

(i know, two different songs, but ya gotta admit, it applies)

“you don’t get to die” 

i just-

hands down, most powerful line in the whole episode.

it’s an odd form of vengeance, saving the man that attacked you multiple times from the release of death

 that’s what it would’ve been tho

a release

he would’ve died, and he wouldn’t of had to pay for any of his actions

but instead, josh saved his sorry ass

so he gets to pay for this in the land of the living

the best revenge, actually

and, josh saved a life

he’s worthwhile

“i’m not goin back” well i knew mr. clean was gonna die from the beginning sooooooo

“we’ve got dispatch”  and it’s finally over

i’m kinda bummed that we didn’t get to see SEAL!buck or the rest of the firefam but we got  BAMF!dispatch and that was enough lmao

kudos to those off duty dispatches as well, like y’all just walked past the dead body and moved on from the whole hostage situation to do your already stressful job

CHIM’S FACE WHEN HE SEES MADDIE I AM SOBBING

THEY SAID MADNEY RIGHTS Y’ALL😭😭😭

this hug is everythinggggg 

lo key buck watching from afar breaks my heart ahaha

“she already has everything she needs”

....this is tea for another day, but...

buck, you do know people need you as much as you need them, right?

....right?

still not over that hug tho

ayeeee wassup bobby!

how was the camping trip i was extremely against?

oooooh i love the crime recaps!

i may or may not have been like buck in the bank episode when he said ‘i’m some confused, can you start over’

...ahem....

“wait....you didn’t round her up too?”

ok listen....

while i don’t condone stealing and and the extreme amount of violence they used,

i do condone outsmarting men that think less of you because you are a woman

you are a boss tiffany, and i’m actually kind of sad you got caught

“tiffany was the real mastermind” can i just.....

*BLASTS BOSS BITCH FROM THE ROOFTOPS CAUSE WOMEN OWNED THIS EPISODE! THEY WERE SO DAMN BADASS*

thanks 9-1-1 writers for that, btw. 

gotta admit, as much as they rip out our hearts and stomp on em, they know what they are doin

jake you shady shady bitch

ngl tho both plans were solid 

maybe if it was done completely by women it would’ve worked :)

“looks  like your trip’s been delayed...by about 5 to 15 years” athena you got the best lines yo

jake f’ed up the other plan too lmaoo

like i said, if it was all women, they would’ve pulled this off

and they end it with madney

gosh i loved this episode

So! These were my thoughts on 3x14! Let me know what you think, and hit up my ask box if you want me to post my thoughts on another episode! Later taters!

Oh yeah, if you liked this you can find my thoughts on ‘Pinned’ here!

[iznightwing]

TUA Season 2 Spoilers

So, this is my immediate reactions to the new season of The Umbrella Academy. Please enjoy

Episode 1

They all got stuck in different parts of early 60s Dalas, TX

Threat of nucular war

"The Swedes" are our main(?) protagonists for this season it seems

Diego(1963) is in a mental asylum because he's trying to stop JFK's assassination.

Vanya(1963) has some minor amnesia

Luthor(1962) is a mobster???(idk)

Allison(1961) is married, helping with the civil rights movement

Klaus(1961) stole a guys truck and fighting with Ben

Ben(with Klaus) is still a ghosty boi(😭)

Five(1963) as to figure out how to stop the fuck apocalypse ****again**** that they ended up bringing back with them

Episode 2

Handler is alive, but she got demoted

Luthor works for Jack Ruby apparently

Luthor still hates Vanya -_-

"Dad should have left him on the moon" jsjegdidu Five's fuckin savage

Diago and Lila(new character) escape the mental hospital

Allison's husband just got arrested for "assault and battery"

Diago is still trying to get Lee Harvey Oswald

Klaus is literally treated like a Hippie Jesus but he doesn't like it

They have fottage from JFK's assassination, which isn't for another 6 days, based on the show's timeline

FUCKING REGINALD IS IN THE FOOTAGE?!?!

Luthor found where Vanya has be- OH SHIT HE HAS A GUN

Luthor doesn't realize Vanya has amnesia

He wants to apologize to her???

LUTHOR DON'T DO IT

SISSY(new character) PULLED THROUGH

2 of the 3 guys sent to kill the Hargreaves are just throwing a knife at each other while the other one cooks??

Five and Diego are going to search for Reginald

Allison's husband is getting suspicious because she almost used her power in front of him

Lesbian vibes coming from Sissy and Vanya

Five being vulnerable makes me soft

Reginald has (a) mannequin family(ies)??

Pogo!!

Reginald just fucking stabbed Diego I-

Episode 3

Klaus seriously is just Hippie Jesus

Lila saved Diego's life

Vanya run girl!

Yaasss queen! You use thos powers!

Well, Five found Vanya

Luthor is trying to find Allison

Klaus and Allison reunited!!

Handler changed her appearance??

Allison is a strong independent woman, and ain't none can tell her otherwise

Daaamn klaus and Ben just used his ghosty self to get Allison's husband out of jail

Five tries to help Vanya get her memories back

I'm fairly certain Lila has a thing for Diego

THEY MADE OUT! I WAS RIGHT

Okay, they're doing more than making out

Luthor found Allison's address and met her husband. Can you say **awkward** !

Allison ain't taking no shit my dudes

DAVE!! AAAHHH

Klaus is being the awkward gay

OH FUCK OUR IS BOY HAVING SOME PTSD

KLAUS IS TRYING TO SAVE DAVE FROM GOING TO VIETNAM!

I think Ray(Allison's husband) is mad at Allison...

Vanya and Five went find Luthor

Shit going wrong at the sit-in

Oh shit Allison just made Ray scared of her by using her power

Klaus managed to get Allison out of all the chaos

Luthor just purposely lost a fight??

Lila what the fuck are you doing??

Lila, what are those keys for??

LILA YOU FUCKING WORK FOR HANDLER?!?!

MOM?!?!?!

Episode 4

FIVE WAS THAT YOU?! I SWEAR TO GOD IF IT WAS-

I don't know how I feel about this my dudes

Vanya and Luthor bonding??

Jack Ruby just fired Luthor??

Vanya and Five just had a fight

Klaus is not the best person for moral support

"He stabbed me" "I'm surprised he waited this long, Diego. We've all had the urge" jdjdgdj savage Five back at it again

So Reginald is part of a "shadow government"??

OH FUCK DAVE NOOOO

Allison, honey, you can do better babe

Oh nooo Klaus is going back to the dunk side

Welp, Klaus' followers found him

Diego, Lila and Diego doing a sneaky

Allison and Luthor have reunited!!

More sneaky

GRACE! BUT NOT A ROBOT!

Oh nooo! Harlan come back!

HARLAN NOOO

VANYA TO THE RESCUE!!

Well, Luthor just got evicted

LETS GO LESBIANS

Well, Luthor's high on laughing gas, thanks to Eliot

Ooo fight scene to KISS niiccceee

Welp I think Diego feels betrayed

Five knows ancient Greek apparently

Episode 5

BABY POGO

Pogo was apparently sent to space

That moment you realize Reginald treated Pogo more like a son than he did his own children

Diego and Five are onto Lila

Allison and Klaus are have a heart to heart

As I stated previously, LETS GO LESBIANS

Oh nooo

Luthor, you're just going to get your feelings hurt

Told you soooooo

"Dude, that's rough" I- they literally missed the opportunity to use "that's rough buddy"

Handler, what are you planning?

Now Diego doesn't trust Vanya -_-

ALL THE SIBLINGS ARE TOGETHER YAY

The Swedes are just living their best life in this random women's home

Damit Klaus

God damit Luthor

Don't follow her damit

AAAAHHHH BENNNN

Klaus calling out all the in*est shippers

"The only thing the Umbrella Academy knows about love... is how to screw it up" I didnt need called out like this Klaus

I love some quality sibling bonding

Well that guy just went boom

I lowkey like this cover of Billie Eilish's "Bad Guy"

Five figured out Lila and Handler are working together

Vanya trying to confess her love to Sissy I- baby nooo

Vany, baby, it's all gonna be okay

The swedes are down to two. Poor guys

Idk how I feel about this version of Adele's "Hello"

Klaus is confronting his followers

Allison decided to tell Ray everything

Episode 6

Allison, run baby!

Ooo how sweet!

Seriously Handler. What are you planning?

So luthor, Diego and Vanya are going to talk to Reginald

Klaus' followers won't listen to him

Allison got Ray to believe her. Yay!

Ooooh booooyyy, pooh shhhiiittt

BINGOO!

oh shit, what the hell??

Oh my god, Dave come baaaaccckkk!!!

"Unharm my wiener" oh my god

I think Luthor let rip in the elevator, lol

Reggie wants proof

And with that proof comes a mess of fruit

So, Ben can possess Klaus

Diego doooonnn't

Vulnerable Five gets me every time

Nooooo not Eliot

Sissy, it's gonna be okay baby

Oh noooo

Oh fuuucckkk

Episode 7

I have a bad feeling about this

Well that was... interesting

Klaus is being Ben's wingman and letting him possess him to talk to a girl

I don't like Carl's attitude

I knew Handler was gonna pull something

Diego just threatened an old lady because of a misunderstanding I-

Istg, I want to shoot Handler in the head again

God damnit Diego

Ben, enjoy yourself baby, but don't abuse your brother's trust

Fuck off Carl

Allison, honey, please go with Luthor

Ben, you're doing great sweetie

Diego knows that Ben is able to possess Klaus

Vanya, please don't fight with your brother

Diego, please lis- GOD DAMIT LILA

Allison, baby, its going to be okay

Sissy, what are you doing?

Backstreet boys to a fight scene. Nice

So vaccuum extensions can be a weapon

Klaus, Ben, stop fighting!

Okay, so that happened

Shiiitt

Vanya, don- SHIIIIT

Episode 8

So Vanya is the russian baby from the opening of the first season

"You've had your possession privileges revoked!" "I regret nothing!"

Oh shit, he's gonna- ope, he knows it was Handler

Diego, don't let them treat you like that man

Grace, please be careful

Grace, don't believe him

So, five is going to look for himself. Literally, not figuratively

Sissy, don't listen to him

DON'T HURT HER YOU ASSHOLES

The FBI be assholes(for legal reasons this is about the show only)

This won't end well

Lila, please. Control yourself

Five apparently doesn't trust himself(the old body version of himself)

Diego, don't fuck up

Fancy shmancy machine

Sooo, Vanya causes this apocalypse too??

Past five wants to "kill" present Five??

Brain food. Ha

Ray, just listen to your wife

Uuuuhhhh Harlan??

Episode 9

Allison, please be careful baby

"You look like Antonio Banderas with the long hair, I just thought you should know"

Common Klaus, I know you can do it baby

BEN!!

"Because I'm him, and that is exactly what I'd do if I wanted to kill me!"

"I'M THE DADDY HERE!!" Gejkzudh I'm-

743??

Carl stop it!

Sissy, POP OFF

God damnit Lila

Five. For god sakes

Oof, I felt that through the screen

"Dancing with myself" is a completely appropriate song to go with this fight scene

Ben, be careful baby. I know your dead, but still

Vanya, baby, it's gonna be okay

Ben noooooo

Shut the fuck up Carl

OH SHIT

Lila knows the- GOD DAMNIT IT WAS FIVE

Don't listen to her Lila!

Okay, so that just happened

Diego is still trying to stop the assassination

Five sent old Five through his rift to 2019

Well, Diego got duped

Reginald didn't know about the plan of the assassination??

WHAT THE FUCK?!

UUUHHH

Episode 10

Okay, so we open up with Ben's funeral

Wow Reginald

Klaus apparently convinced Ben not to go to the light?

So now they're all wanted by the FBI

Guys, please listen to Vanya

Okay, so he was scared of the light, it wasn't Klaus that got him to stay

"Anyone makes a fat joke and I'm outta here"

Oh- oh no

Harlan, baby, please listen to Vanya

Uuuuhhhhhhhh

So Diego can control the direction of more than just knives. Okay then

Hell yea baby, Vanya saves the day

WHAT THE FUCK

OH SHIT, FIVE

Nooooo

Phew that was close. Why is it always Allison that almost dies?

Don't listen to her Harlan!

Listen to them Lila!

NOOOOO

WHAT THE FUCK

YASSS BITCH

Harlan, it's okay baby!

Yassss

Way to go Herb!

No Sissy, go with herrrrr

I have mixed feelings about all this

And theyre back home

Apparently Reginald is alive??

THE FUCK

[solesurvivorkat]

FC5 Deputy GFH Dialogue

(Quickie ‘Katie IRL’ Update: So sorry for lack of writing... to be succinct, I might have a sleep disorder, possibly Sleep Apnea - been very tired/lethargic for several months now, finally have a test scheduled for late August. Will have to ‘make do’/power through fatigue until then. I will do my best to jump-start my writing {and my YT channel} until then!

Also - as for ‘I Need to Tell You’ (FC5 no-cult AU fic) - I don’t think I have a ton of readers for that one, so I’m just gonna stick to the movie-plot where I can & finish it up {the end is nearing!}. If anyone wants to read anything else from that ‘verse, lemme know & I’ll whip something up - otherwise, I’m gonna finish that up & get back to working on ‘The Book of John’ again, which is loooong overdue {poor Sarah’s been in John’s bunker forever, lol!}. THAT said... )

~~~~~~~~

Deputy Sarah Rook

(NOTE: My apologies if Sarah’s dialogue is similar to anyone else’s OC’s... I promise and swear that if it happens, it’s purely coincidental. I am adamant about not {purposely} stealing anyone else’s creativity! <3  Also, this is quite long... but it’s not everything in FC5, so if you like it & want even more, just lemme know, lol.)

With Fangs for Hire:

Boomer: “Aww, who’s my sweet, brave boy?” (kisses forehead) - “Good boy, Boomer!” - “I know what it’s like to have someone you love taken away from you... but don’t worry boy, you’re not alone. And I’ll do everything I can to make sure you never are again.” - “I won’t let Eden’s Gate use you, I promise.” - “Boomer, go!” - “Rae-Rae won’t have died in vain, I promise you.”

Peaches: “I’m... usually more of a dog person - but as long as I get to keep all my fingers and limbs, I’m satisfied.” - “Peaches, attack!” - “Us girls gotta stick together, right?” - “Hmm... one blue eye, one brown. Unique!” - “Needless to say, a cougar’s a very dangerous pet. Miss Mable never should have tried to raise you in captivity. Still... it can be handy to have a cougar for an ally.” - (gives affectionate pets) “Aww, my sweet little ‘danger kitty’...”

Cheeseburger: “You’re like a... big, dangerous teddy.” (laughs) - “Cheeseburger! How are ya, buddy?” - “Wade was sweet to look after you. I promise I’ll try to do the same.” - “I will not let Jacob take you.” - “Ohh, those big brown eyes of yours...” - “I can’t believe Wade not only found a collar to fit you, but also one that had cheeseburgers on it. Wow.” - “I’m glad you’re on my side, boy.” - “No, I can’t give you any more cheeseburgers. ...Stop looking at me like that, you know they’re not good for you. ...You’re on a diet, remember? ...  (sighs)  .....Okay, ONE burger. Don’t tell anyone.”

With other Guns for Hire:

Sharky

(serious) “Sharky... just between us... you’re the best friend I’ve ever had.” - “Sharky... never change.” (smiles)

“Sharky, I know fire is your, uh- ‘specialty’, but... you need to try not burning down half the forest with us!” 

“Anything you say, Charlemagne.” 

“You and Hurk are a dangerous duo - in more ways than one.” 

(horrified, after hearing about his mom/parents) “Anyone who'd do that to an innocent baby doesn’t deserve them. You’re better off, Shark.” 

(cheesy grin) “I hope Eden’s Gate stocked up on ‘Shark repellent’!” 

(when fighting together) “Time for a ‘Shark attack’!” - “You’ve got us between a rock and a shark place!” - “Sarah and Shark, makin’ their mark!” - “You might be better off using your gun here, Sharky.”

“Disco, Sharky? Really? (sighs) ...All right, to each his own.”

“Hey Sharky, got a bad joke for ya - what’s a shark’s favorite bible story? ...’Noah’s Shark’!”

“Ride or die, buddy!”

“No matter what, I’ve always got your back, Sharky.”

Grace

(chuckles nervously/anxiously after seeing ‘serious/deadpan Grace’) “Sorry, I... joking around is kind of my ‘defense mechanism’...”

“A medal in the Olympics... that’s amazing, Grace. ...Er- no pun intended.”

“For what it’s worth... thank you for your service to our country.”

(after Grace mentions destroying copies of ‘Only You’, Sarah chuckles sadly) “Y’know, it’s funny... I actually used to like that song...”

“I know you want to protect your dad’s grave, I do completely understand... but we also need to help protect innocent people that’re still living too, you know? They need us... need you.”

Hurk

"Hercules Drubman Junior - as I live and breathe." (smiles)

“Hurk, I... don’t think a rocket launcher is the best weapon to use right now...”

“As... ‘tempting’ as ‘Hurk’s Gate’ sounds, I... don’t think it’s quite for me.”

(at a loss for words) “...Oh Hurk...”

“Y’know Hurk... there is a lot more to life than beer, drugs, and sex...” - (Hurk {looks horrified}: “...Say whaat? What’choo talkin’ ‘bout, Dep??”)

“Hurk, just... be careful.”

(stares blankly, then slowly raises an eyebrow) “...Monkey... King/God??”

“No offense dude, but... if your dad doesn’t stop talking I may have to ‘accidentally’ shoot him.”

(sneaking around) “You’re not exactly the ‘king of stealth’. Why don’t... you hang back here for a minute? I’ll signal you or call out if I need you.”

“To each their own, but ‘partying’ is... not really my thing.”

Adelaide

(pointing in turn to Sharky, Hurk, then Addie, during ‘tongue-in-cheek’ suggestions for Sarah) “No, no, and HELL no.”

(Addie: "Punch it Chewie! ...Bet you got a kick out of that, you fuckin’ nerd.") “Hey- I love the reference, and I’m proud of who I am. ...Mostly.” (smiles)

“Addie, for the last time - no, I did not inspect John's underwear drawer when I was at Seed Ranch. I was a little occupied at the time.” (turns bright red as Addie looks thrilled) “...That- that’s not what I meant!”

(reluctantly) “Addie? I kind of need some... ‘womanly advice’.” - (Addie, eyebrows raised: “And you came to me?? Oh hunny...”)

“While I appreciate your... ‘openness’, no - I do not need ‘tips’ from you and Xander about ‘positions’.”

“Addie... ‘showing more cleavage’ is not going to help me with the Seed brothers or Eden’s Gate, despite your insistence.”

“...I am not playing ‘Fuck, Marry, Kill’...”

Nick

(after flying Carmina - and puking once landed) “Nick... if you ever make me do that again... I don’t know what I’ll do, but it’ll be bad.”

“Flying may be great for you, but I’m much happier with my feet on the ground.”

“I’ll protect you and your family as much as I can - that’s a promise.”

“Defending your business, plane, home, family, and friends like you have been... I’m sure your family would be very proud of you.”

“There he is, ‘King of the Skies’!”

“You and Kim... you’re lucky to have each other. I kind of envy that.”

“Rook and Rye - on land and in the sky!“

“I know fighting Eden’s Gate is important, but... don’t forget to be there for Kim too. We’ve [the Resistance] got this... Kim and your baby need you more.” 

(After Carmina's born) "How's Kim and the baby? You'd better be taking good care of my goddaughter!"

Jess

“I know we grew up in very different ‘environments’, but... I also know what it’s like to feel alone for a long time. No pressure, but... I’m here if you ever need someone to lend an ear.”

(re: Jess’s insane survival skills) “...You’ve got to teach me that/how to do that sometime.”

“You’re related to Dutch? Wow, that’s... kinda cool.”

“I thought I swore a lot, but... wow.”

“Yeah... I’m not one for small talk, either.”

In Combat

(to herself, stressed) “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...”

“Aw shit...”

“Fucking Peggies!”

(to herself, quickly and quietly) “You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day...”

“Let’s kick some Peggie ass!”

(to herself) “I can do all things through him who strengthens me...”

“May God have mercy on you.”

“I don’t think my soul is the one that needs saving!”

Driving

(hears ‘Oh John’ on the radio & starts humming along. After a couple seconds, realizes what she’s doing and shakes her head, murmuring to herself) “...Damnit...”

“I’m driving? If you say so.”

“ ‘Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need... roads.’ “ (smug grin)

“I used to like driving. Found it kind of relaxing, most of the time. ...That was before I started having to get used to being pursued and chased down by Eden’s Gate trucks.”

“Time for... LUDICROUS SPEED!”

“Fasten your seatbelts... it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”

Idle

“...So...?”

“Everything okay? Do you need a break?”

“I don’t know if you’re aware, but I spent most of my life in New England - Connecticut, actually. Born and raised. I moved out to Hope County only a few years ago, when the Deputy job opened up. Thought it’d be... a ‘fresh start’. ...Definitely didn’t expect anything like all this to happen.”

“I used to roll my eyes - or want to - every time the Sheriff and the other Deps called me ‘Rookie’. They thought it was so funny, on account of my last name and all, and me being the newest addition to the department. Now that we’re all spread out and fighting against the cult... I think I kind of miss it.”

“Some of the most horrible things imaginable... have been done by people who claim they had ‘good reasons’ behind their actions.”

“There’s an old proverb that states, ‘Hell is full of good meanings, but heaven is full of good works’. ...There’s a lot of wisdom in that.”

“God has a reason for everything, even if we don’t always understand why...”

“The right thing to do is not always the easy thing to do...”

“Faith is believing in things when common sense tell you not to.“

“Imagine the things we could accomplish... if we would just try.”

“ ‘Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.’ ...Make fun of me all you want, but it’s true.”

“I do love nature. ...You know... when it’s not being interrupted by religious idiots.”

“Courage isn’t the absence of fear... it’s deciding that something is more important than fear.”

Recruiting/Greeting

“I’ll do everything I can... you can count on it.”

“Good to see you again.”

“Let’s do this.”

“Stronger together!”

Dismissal

“Until we meet again - stay safe.”

“Call me if you need me.”

“Done already? Aww, you’re killin’ me, Smalls.”

Injured/Down

“God damnit... not yet...”

“FUCK!”

“This can’t be it...”

“I’m sorry... I tried...”

“I need some help!”

Revived/Assisted

“Thanks... now let’s teach these assholes a lesson they won’t soon forget.”

“Never tell me the odds!”

“Never give up, never surrender!”

“Thanks for the help!”

“Thanks... our work’s not done yet!”

Stealth

“Shh... ‘silence is golden’, remember?“

“Keep a low profile!”

“Be cautious...”

“Don’t let ‘em see you comin’...”

“ ‘Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise...’ ”

Being aimed at

“Watch where you’re pointing that.”

“I’m a much better shot than I let on. Just remember that.”

“Two hits - me hitting you, and you hitting the ground. I suggest you aim elsewhere.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

Location-Specific:

By any body of water: “When I lived in Connecticut, I loved seeing the ocean. The lakes in Montana can be beautiful, but... it’s not quite the same.”

The Henbane: “Freakin’ Bliss.” / “Please promise me... that you’ll never, ever let me end up like one of Faith’s Angels.” / “Exploiting people’s weaknesses and fears to get them to do what you want... it’s wrong on so many levels.” / “Rachel Jessop wasn’t the first, or even the second ‘Faith Seed’... I wonder if she’s ever afraid of ending up like them.” / “God wants people to follow him willingly, to choose to do good - not be forced into it with trickery and fear. Even if - in an insane world - Joseph was right, it doesn’t excuse the things that Eden’s Gate has done. If they have a message to spread, this isn’t the way to do it.”

Holland Valley: “Saying ‘Yes’ to everything doesn’t make you a better person.” /  “Many people know the seven deadly sins... but few people can name - let alone even know about - the 'seven virtues': chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. ...But you don’t see John tattooing those on people.” / John is... he’s done some horrible things. Committed heinous acts. But knowing the life he had to endure as a child when the Duncans adopted him... I hate so many of the things he’s done, but... part of me can’t help feeling sorry for him, too.” / “Underneath all those layers of ‘jackass’, way, waaaay deep down... I think there’s a lot of hurt and pain in John.”

The Whitetails: “Jacob acts like having feelings, friends, caring for things and people makes you weak. It’s just the opposite... having things to fight for - people to fight for - is a strength. More than just a ‘purpose’ - it’s a blessing.” / (angry) Jacob turning me into a weapon of destruction... he’s going to pay for that. / Forcing Bliss on animals to turn them into Judges... it’s wrong on multiple levels. / “I’m ‘weak’, Jacob? I’ll show you what a ‘weak’ person can do.”

[sippin-on-red-wine]

No. 6 Collaborations Project: A review!

It’s been a week since this fabulous album has dropped into our hands. Click “Keep reading to hear my thoughts on each track!

Track 1. Beautiful People Khalid ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You look stunning dear/So don’t ask that question here

Thoughts/Reflection: Ed keeps referring to this song as ‘cozy’ and I completely agree. The vibe is cool. I love the tone of his voice here and I think it meshes really nicely with Khalid’s. The content isn’t super relatable, but I think we can all take something away from this one. It’s a good note on self-awareness and being able to see the reality in things that may look glamorous on the surface. 

-

Track 2. South of the Border feat. Camila Cabello, Cardi B ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So join me in this bed that I’m in/Push up on me and sweat darlin’/So I’m gonna put my time in/Won’t stop until the angels sing

Thoughts/Reflection: This track is literally freaking scorching hot fire. TBH I’m surprised that they led the album with IDC and not this one. It feels like big radio potential to me. Regardless, this song is an absolute BOP - so catchy and so fucking sexy. 

I know Ed’s Spanish leaves something to be desired ☺ But I feel like we can cut him some slack after singing (yet another) song dedicated to going down on a woman. The ginger is forgiven! Five stars for him! And I’m going to have SOTB on repeat all summer (or for the rest of my life).

Oh, I also really like Cardi on this song. IDK if she’s problematic or w/e, I don’t really follow her in the media at all. But her verse is fun. (I think Ed got a lil jungle fever AY) bahahahah

-

Track 3. Cross Me feat. Chance the Rapper, PnB Rock ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Know she gonna slide anytime you bitches talk shit/Keep a lil blade in her fuckin’ lip gloss kit 

Thoughts/Reflection: Love love love LOVE this one. It just makes you want to get up and DANCE the damn thing! I have to laugh a little at the thought of Ed being hard & tough, lol, but it’s a cool concept nonetheless. Like he said in his Charlemagne interview, it’s kind of a love song…. but a different tempo. It’s catchy as all hell and Chance’s verse is fucking cool. 

Full points. 

-

Track 4. Take Me Back to London feat. Stormzy ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: Coz you can win BRITS (it don’t stop)/And you can do Glasto (headline slot)

Thoughts/Reflection: Fuck. This song, though. IIt’s the first one that jumped out at me when I did my first full album listen. And I haven’t stopped listening since. The chorus is so syncopated. Stormzy is sick on this track, I love his voice so much. And it just feels like the two of them really play off each other nicely and probably had a blast making this song. 

Also, Ed flexing “Grossed half a billi on the Divide tour/No I’m not kidding what would I lie for” is BDE and I’m personally really here for it.

This song is a banger and you should dance in your kitchen to it while baking pastries. FIve stars for you, Big Mike and Teddy.

(Dear God please let Stormzy guest live in Ipswich)

-

Track 5. Best Part of Me feat. YEBBA ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: it’s not a lyric but that part when Ed & YEBBA are harmonizing perfectly in the whoooaaAAaaaA 

Thoughts/Reflection: I love the sound on this song! His voice is so raw and tender here. It reminds me of Plus era, but grown up. I think it may be how delicately he approaches the syllables in his verse and the chorus. YEBBA’s tone is super rich and lovely, and they sound great together.

I’m taking a “star” off here because I don’t love the lyrics. I get that he’s being vulnerable and showing insecurities in verse 1, but then YEBBA follows that up with lamenting about misplacing things and being late for the train? It doesn’t seem to match up with admitting physical/bodily insecurities. Also, it could just be that I hate that Ed thinks of himself this way.

DUDE IS HOT AF

-

Track 6. I Don’t Care feat. Justin Bieber ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: I don’t like nobody but you/I hate everyone here

Thoughts/Reflection: Oh god. When did this song come out? I’m trying to think back to my first impressions of it, LOL. It’s bright and poppy and of course it went and stayed #1 all summer (thus far). I remember thinking it was so cool that the melody is super mainstream and upbeat, but the underlying theme is around social anxiety. “Crippled with anxiety/But I’m told I’m where I’m sposed to be” 

I mostly skip this one now that the full album is out, but I think I listened to it for a full 48 hours on repeat when it first dropped. Bieber is problematic and shit, and honestly I don’t think he adds much to the song. I really like Ed’s acoustic version where he does the whole thing solo.

The bridge slaps. Literally. I love that clapping bit behind it. I wish that Ed hadn’t fucked up the lyrics to the bridge in the acoustic version lolololol

Four stars, will bop along for many moons to come

-

Track 7. Antisocial feat. Travis Scott ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: So antisocial but I don’t care/Don’t give a damn I’m gonna smoke here/Got a bottle in my hand bring more tho

Thoughts/Reflection: DID YOU SEE HIM GUEST AT TRAVIS’ SHOW LAST NIGHT? This song was already one of my faves but holy shit. In interviews, Ed talks a lot about feeling awkward on stage without a guitar - but it didn’t look like that last night. He was bouncy as all hell, sounded great, looked great. Looked like he was loving the crowd’s energy too.

And the music video? That deserves a post all on it’s own.

This track is pretty short but it’s packed with good stuff. Ed’s intro is really strong here, the chorus is interesting despite the repetition. I physically can’t help but groove along to this tune. I’m sorry. I have no say in the matter

-

Track 8. Remember the Name feat. Eminem, 50 Cent ★★★★★ Favorite Lyric: 20 years old is when I came in the game/And now it's eight years on and you remember the name/And if you thought I was good, well, then I'm better today

Thoughts/Reflection: YES. YES. YES.  The song intros with a reference to Ipswich, bitch. I love how Ed makes those connections back to his upbringing.

It’s a little unreal that these three iconic voices/styles can flow so well on a song and still sound so balanced. 

I’ve got this one on repeat too. I’m determined to learn all of the words damnit!!

Five stars for a tune that I would love to see performed live someday.

-

Track 9. Feels feat. Young Thug, J Hus ★★★

Favorite Lyric: See you wigglin’, jigglin/If I have a bite will it taste like cinnamon?

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is fine. I like the feature verses. The song just doesn’t stick out that much for me.

-

Track 10. Put It All on Me feat. Ella Mai ★★★

Favorite Lyric: I try to be strong but I got demons/So can I lean on you?/I need a strong heart and a soft touch

Thoughts/Reflection: Falsetto. Falsetto everywhere. I love that! Ella Mai’s voice is so rich. Unfortunately, I don’t have a lot more to say on this one. It’s not a song I’m playing on repeat, but I don’t skip it either.

-

Track 11. Nothing On You feat. Paulo Londra, Dave ★★★★ Favorite Lyric: You and I/Whisky on ice/Maybe later we can turn down all the lights

Thoughts/Reflection: This song is SEXY and cool…. ‘smoke clouds and the scent of perfume’.... the imagery. Man. More falsetto here. Also, please go look up the translation of Paulo Londra’s verse. Thanks. I’m sweating. Is it hot in here? This album is *sexual* 

ALSO THE ‘BRRRP’ AFTER “they keep ringing my phone”  bahahahahah 

-

Track 12. I Don’t Want Your Money feat. H.E.R. ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I need you here for the good times and the bad times/Yeah the pullin’ out my hair gettin’ mad times/Not just the when I’m in your bed on my back times

Thoughts/Reflection: THIS IS SUCH A GODDAMN TUUUUNEEEEEE!!!!!!! I love this song so much. 10/10 jamming out to this in the car at every opportunity. Finger snappin’ cool r&b vibe. I love the super quick tempo (but not quite rap?) in Ed’s verses. And I always appreciate the little double-meaning-references in Ed’s songs - like ‘diamonds, silver or gold’ means $$$ of course, but also just success in terms of album sales performance.

TBH when I saw the title on Ed’s tracklist reveal, I totally thought this would be a slow mushy love song about how Ed’s lucky to have found someone who wasn’t into him for his money. This was a pleasant surprise!! I love that it’s a little angsty.

Five STARS bitch I love this song and y’all are sleeping on it

-

Track 13. 1000 Nights feat. Meek Mill, A Boogie Wit da Hoodie ★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Birds eye view/Pay my dues/For a two-mile queue

Thoughts/Reflection: i been ON for a thousAND NIGHTSSSSS NEW YORK TO LONDONNN DIFFERENT CITY EVERY DAYAYYY

1000 Nights: a flexy bop and I love it

This song is about the Divide tour which has been going for approximately 572 years. Not that I’m complaining.

But it’s cool (how many times have I said ‘cool’ in this post? don’t answer that). Ed loves touring and that comes out in this song. And Meek’s verse is so fun to rap along to!

Four stars.

-

Track 14. Way To Break My Heart feat. Skrillex ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: I can’t stop thinkin’ bout her/And her lips on mine, so soft/Feelings I don’t know the name of

Thoughts/Reflection: biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch.

This song is NOSTALGIC and I simply adore it. It has that same… “cozy” feel that Beautiful People does. Which is strange, considering it’s a song about heartbreak. But it’s just so. Soft. And warm. 

We’re back to super soft placement of words and such pure tone. 

It’s hauntingly beautiful. And yet uptempo! Bless, Skrillex. I especially love the drums that come in during the chorus, after “you’re still gone, and i’ll say”

PS, the soft sound of mouth smacking at :13. Use headphones.

Some of my favorite Ed songs are ones about heartbreak, and I appreciate that he included one here. About an imaginary heartbreak 👀

Take another five stars from me, bud

- Track 15. BLOW feat. Chris Stapleton, Bruno Mars ★★★★★

Favorite Lyric: Hot damn/Pop it like a pistol mama/You got me down on my knees/Baby please?

Thoughts/Reflection: *laughing nervously*

Again, definitely not what I expected out of this track when the titles were all revealed. I LOVED release day on this one. The world collectively lost their shit. I need nothing more in this world than to see this song performed live, especially with a full band and Ed on an electric guitar. 

I’m still not over this loud, full, energetic song full of men bellowing about wanting to, well, fuck.

Bye

(five stars from me and also my 62 year old coworker Jan)

:::OVERALL:::

This album is SO GOOD MATE and I already cannot wait until the next collabs project! Ed blessed us with 15 amazing tracks to tide us over until Subtract comes out. They’re so different from his normal album stuff and I really love to see him try new sounds and get to create/collaborate with artists he admires so much.

it also has me real hot and bothered lmao

Thanks for coming to my tEd talk.

[writingdreamdaddy]

It's good to see somebody else not over the hype, and I already love this blog. How about the dads catching dadsona singing? It can be good or bad singing, your choice 💞

Dadsona’s a fuckinrockstar my dude. Also sorry this took so long, i didn’t realize how busy i was and how poor my writing skills are. I don’t know if this was what you were looking for exactly but i hope its okay!

Robert—

               He wasnever one to make plans in advancement, he would just show up and you two woulddo something. That’s how it’s always been between you, it’s not like walkinginto your house unannounced was a new occurrence. Robert made the short stretchto your house across the cul-du-sac and looked at his phone with a yawn. It wasonly 10pm and he was already tired; you were a bad influence to his rebelliouslifestyle and sleep schedule. He opened your front door, expecting you to belounged on the couch watching Paranormal Ice Road Truckers like you always were, but you weren’t. The house was dark except for the fluorescent lights inthe kitchen. His investigation lead him to you in an old off white t-shirt and boxers, softly singing along with the quiet radio, cooking eggs in a pan. Robert leaned against thedoorway, listening and watching to you. You were no Jon Bon Jovi, but yourvoice was soothing and a little raspy. He would watch for a second, enjoyingyour “Shit I Burned the Eggs” version of “Livin’ on a Prayer”. Your singing would switch between actual singing, to playful swears directed toward the eggs singing, but itwas amazing in every way. You may have been in an entirely different key alltogether and laughed at your own mistakes and jokes, but to Robert you were arock star.

Matt –

               You twowere in his living room when you had convinced him to sing to you. He playedthe guitar, and you contributed to the jam session by tapping your foot. Hestarted to play and sing a slow song he had shown you awhile back. You didn’tknow all the words, but you remembered the chorus and quietly sang along withhim. At first Mat kept doing what he was doing, he would smile at you and eventually singa little quieter to listen to your voice. It was the fact that it was your voice that made it so special tohim. He’d heard millions of singers, some made his ears bleed, and others wereastonishing. But nothing was like yours. It was you, and that was all it took for it to be perfect. Your voices filled the quiet house andsteadily went along with the guitar. You’d back out and let Mat take the verse,but joined back in whenever the chorus hit. Mat didn’t want the song to end asquickly as it did, singing with you was something so great to him. It had beensuch a long time since he could experience music like this, even longer sincehe could experience it with someone else. You had brought back such animportant thing into his life, and it was in the way you sang. You wereclose to him, eyes shut, quietly singing along to whatever tune he’d start toplay. This was something that had been missing from his life since his wifepassed, and it was something he never thought he would get back. He neverthought music would feel the same again. But you changed that. It was a momenthe’d cherish, a moment he would remember. It wasn’t just you’re beautifulsinging, it was that you made Mat feel complete.

Joseph—

               Youwere both on the Yacht enjoying a night out. As the day passed and the sunbegan to set you two ran out of wine, so Joseph went inside to grab anotherbottle. It had been a lovely day with just the two of you talking up a storm,and it was his wildest dream come true. He and Mary were on peaceful terms, thekids were better than ever, and you were here letting him be who he was. You were here making his dayscomfortable and busy in the laziest way possible. He smiled to himself at thethought and grabbed the wine he was looking for. It was your favorite wine thathe personally thought was too sweet, but he didn’t care. When he stepped backout onto the deck, you were laying down on your lounge chair, resting youreyes. Your chair was positioned away from the door Joseph was in so that youcould face the sun, and you were softly singing a song he had never heardbefore. He stepped a little closer to get a better listen and just stood therefor a second. You weren’t belting out any rifts or showing off incrediblerange, it was just a simple slow and gentle song and Joseph took every word in.To him, you were already the most heavenly thing on the earth; your voice addedto that. Eventually he sat back down next to you. It startled you a little bitwhich caused you to open your eyes. You continued to sing but it in a much morejoking and over dramatic manner now that Joseph was there. You gave him acheeky smile while you sang your heart out with hand motions and everything,drowning out Joseph’s small laughter. Your singing got louder the more wine youdrank, and Joseph would join you every time you sang a Jimmy Buffett song. Youhad a beautiful voice even when you were mockingly singing, and it just addedto your charm if that was even possible. It was night time by the time your concertended and Joseph gave you an applause. He took your empty wine glass and helpedyou up since you were a little wobbly. You laughed yourself to sleep, andJoseph laid right beside you with admiration and a smile on his face. You wereeverything to him and he couldn’t thank you enough.

Hugo—

               Therewas a choir concert at the school. Hugo cared about all of his students andtheir passions so he made an effort to go to sport games, band and choirconcerts, and theater productions. It was inspiring to watch his kids enjoythese things because lord knows theyaren’t this involved in his class. This choir concert happened to fall on atrivia date night at the restaurant you and him went to all the time. He didn’twant to cancel on you, but he wanted to support the students. Luckily for him,he had the best boyfriend in the world who offered to go with him to theconcert. The concert was a little over an hour, so you two decided to getdinner afterwards. But on the way to the restaurant, you were quietly singing some of thesongs from the concert which earned you a look from Hugo. “What? Choir wasrequired in Junior High. And everyone knows that song.” You said with the same look beforecontinuing to show your amazing choral skills, giving Hugo “School Concert Part2” in the car. As pitchy and off key as you were purposely being, Hugo had asmile on his face. How he ever got so lucky to have you in his life is amystery he never wants solved.

Damien—

                No one in the cul-du-sac knew you performed atMat’s open mic nights except for, well Mat. It was only once in a blue moonthat you actually did, but you were definitely a crowd favorite. Damien andHugo have had crazy schedules lately, so they didn’t get to see open mic nearlyas much as they used to. Word traveled around though about you performing.Damien didn’t believe it at first, but the idea of going to open mic couldn’tleave his mind. He missed going. Hugo had papers he needed to grade, Mary andRobert were at the bar, so he went by himself. When you really did get on stagehe was shocked. But when you started singing, he was blow away. You had sung before in the car with him, but he hadnever heard you sing like this. Youwere so in your element. You weren’t singing along with Bruce Springsteen, youwere up there by yourself, and Damien didn’t think there was a sweeter sound inthe world. It wasn’t a ‘sitting in a coffee shop at night with an open mic’sweet, it was like Lucien saying his first word when he was a baby, or thefirst time you said you loved him. It was the look on your face, and seeing thepeople adore you almost as much as he did. He loved you more than any words hecould string together in a poem could express. Hearing you sing was the mostbeautiful sound in the world to him, and he would do everything from that nightforward to get you to sing like that again.

Craig—

               “Dude Ifound your old band mix.” Craig said before poppin’ that baby in the recordplayer. You didn’t have time to protest before your beautiful Ska vocals filledthe room. Craig may have been standing there looking down at you with his mouthopen in disbelief and eyebrows furrowed in sadness, but damnit, you were good. You still knew the lyrics to thesong playing so you started to sing along. You got up from your spot on thecouch and walked over to Craig while singing to your old garage band recordtape. Grabbing his hands and forcing his disappointed body to dance with you.Halfway through the song Craig cracked a small smile at your antics. Yoursinging was awful, the lyrics were awful, and he was mad at himself forthinking you were cool in college for being in this band. But he loved you. Goddid he love you so much. So that made the singing bearable.

Brian—

               Youcouldn’t get a stupid commercial jingle out of your friggin head and you sangit ALL day and now it’s stuck in HIS head. So he doesn’t like your singing.

[incorrect-ego-quotes]

It's December 1st. Whose screaming Christmas carols, whose baking Christmas treats, whose decorating, who doesn't care, whose putting up mistletoe everywhere, whose shopping for presents every second, who forgot presents, who purposely didn't get presents and whose constantly asking for a puppy? (Sorry this so long, I just kept getting ideas!)

IM SORRY THIS IS DAYS LATE BUT I L O V E CHRISTMAS I HAVE TO DO THIS ONE. ALSO FORGIVE ME THIS IS /LONG AS FUCK/--the ipliersthe jim twins are as excited as, well, a kid on christmas morning. wearing santa hats, candy canes in their mouths, they even decorated their mic in red and green ribbon. the two practically shrieking out christmas songs -- much to everyone's annoyance "CHESTNUTS ROASTING ON AN OPEN FIRE--""jesus christ," dark snaps, "can you two knock it off?! it's only the first--""WOULD YOU LIKE A MORE MODERN SONG OF JOY." jim twin #1 asks, holding up a worn book of christmas carols -- the same one they've had since they were 4. passed on from dear old Mother Jim."no! this season is so grossly happy and joyful -- leave me to work--""I, DONT WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS." jim twin #2 starts off as dark covers his ears. why did they have to be the loudest egos? why cant they see how shitty of a holiday christmas is?!"THERE IS JUST ONE THING I NEED, DONT CARE ABOUT--"dark gets an idea and smirks. knowing one way he can get them to leave him alone. "santa isn't real."the two twins share an offended and angry look, mouths open, did he just?!"christmas was a pagan festival of gifts before being appropriated by romans based on the Odin myth."the jim twins cringe, holding their dear caroling book closer -- he...he has to be lying!"who is the god of war and death."the jim twins turn away offended as all hell. jim twin #1 throwing a candy cane in dark's face and hissing. "SHUN THE NONBELIEVER, JIM.""SHUN."they then run off to go do whatever christmas activity next -- dark hoping they won't take this caroling /publicly/.******ed edgar and silver shepherd are cooking in the kitchen. ed is a surprisingly good cook -- especially around the holidays. just ask anyone who's been to his thanksgiving or christmas dinners. silver only tagged along because he was tired of dark being a joy sucker out of the season."now," ed chuckles, "we're gon' need about a store's worth of flour.""...what?! wh--ed, why do we need a store's worth.""uh, /excuse you, youngin'/," ed points at his pink and white apron. almost annoyed, "this apron calls me chef in charge 'round here. you follow, don't question.""ed. first of all, that's wilford's apron. second of all, we probably only need one bag at most for gingerbread cookies. why would we need a--""listen. i'm only making one gingerbread man fo' everybody 'round here -- i take home the rest.""how...much exactly is the rest?""350."silver shepherd sighs, taking off his mask and gloves. ed still smiling away as if his idea was normal. well, no arguing with a stubborn man like ed. he grabs his car keys from the table as ed follows him, "your limit is 50 dollars for the ingredients." he mumbles. "i knew you'd come 'round!" ed wraps an arm around silver, "we're gon' have so much fun with these lil old cookies! i even have a homemade sugar icing recipe! i'll even make a lil cape fo' yours!" he silently doubted it but hey, its a hell of a lot better than spending his free time with an angry and annoyed dark. ******bim tugged the host along, holding onto the sleeve of his trenchcoat gently as he lead him into the meeting room. the tall green christmas tree standing proudly in the corner. decorations of red and green and gold littered the meeting room's table. the smell of pine hits the host before anything -- taking him back to his own cabin in the woods long ago. the trees covering him away from the world as he...the host shook his head. he hated those memories. he hated those dark times. he hated it all."wilford put us in charge of the tree this year," bim smiled to himself, "i know its a challenge with erm...""i'm blind?""yeah, that." bim sighs, grabbing the box of lights and unrolling them gently, handing the ball to the host, who held it with a strange look on his face."w-what's poking me?""lights, silly!" bim giggles. the sound making the host blush and laugh along. any time bim was happy, he was happy. "now, i'm gonna loop around the tree. you just follow along, yeah? tell me if ya get dizzy and we can slow down.""the host nods, holding the bundle of lights close to his chest. ready for the decorations -- reminding him of his most favorite time of year."bim shakes his head and laughs, "you can't ever turn that off, can you?""the host cannot."the two start off steady and slow. the host following bim's footsteps. he could hear the jim twins playing 'i'll be home for christmas' in the next room over -- their office space. "those two can never get tired of christmas, i swear.""the host reminds bim that it's worse for him since his own office is right next door to the twins."bim giggles, "well, hope ya like christmas as much as them." it's when bim giggles does the host wish he had his sight back. what'd he give to see his smile (although, according to dark, it looks like his -- he doubt it. bim was handsome, charming, while his smile held back pain he swallowed down.)in those small moments of thinking and wishing, the host stays in place. the lights tangling as bim gets wrapped up with the host, groaning as the tree falls gently against them. the two tied chest to chest, bim's hands resting on the host's hips. "um..." bim laughs nervously, blushing away, "hostie, bud, we're tangled.""i...is that you against me?""yeah...i'll -- i'll get us out!!"the music drowns out bim's struggles as he pulls at the lights. the host's thoughts screaming at him -- tell him!! now's your chance!! confess!!"i love...i love--""hmm?" bim perks up, "sorry, wasn't listening, what do you love?""t...this song!! i, i love it, it's my favorite christmas song."he stops and hears bim laugh again, humming along, "its a good song."the host goes along with the lie, singing along as bim rests his head on the host's shoulder to get around to the lights behind him. "if only in my dreams."yeah, only in his dreams -- bim had matthias, what did he have? nothing but his dreams of what could be with the two of them. at least, for a moment, he had the courage to change that. maybe that's what he'll ask for this year; courage. ******dark crossed his arms and continued to work in his office. he could smell cookies baking, he could hear christmas songs being sung, and he could see holly being hung in the halls. how stupid -- the other egos should be /working!/ do they think they can take over mark's channel with all this fooling around?! he slams the laptop he'd been using shut and stares out his window. even the fuckin' /city/ was covered in red and green, fake reindeer and sleighs all around, snowmen (who bought fake snow to LA?!) waving in the cold breeze. he face palms himself. a headache coming on. he hated winter, he hated christmas, he hated everything about the holidays.it...brought back memories he didn't want to dwell on. memories of christmas morning...in a mansion of some sort. fuzzy memories of a woman, a man, and that damned mark -- all enjoying...hot chocolate with marshmallows. opening gifts like.../a family/."heeeeey darkidoo," wilford bursts into his office. the jim twins still throwing (sharpened to a point) candy canes at dark's door. "what do you want, wil?""geez," he shuts the door, dark's back turned towards him, "what's up with the jims? ya do something?""other than not engaging them in their childish behavior -- not, i did nothing." he sighs, "did you finish the weekly schedule for this month's programming on Markiplier TV?""gimmie another day--""damnit, wil! stop -- just stop! stop with this foolish nonsense, this holly jolly bullshit! i hate this season and i hate the way it makes everyone--" he stops as he hears wilford set down something on his desk and wrap an arm behind him. hugging him. "dark," he sighs, "just...take it easy, okay? it's december -- at least be happy the year's almost over, and be happy you still got us. hell, be happy some egos are working like doc and google." he smiles, "just...be happy we're all still here to celebrate the season. and nobody's gone."there's silence as dark hangs his head low. "i'll leave you alone for a while. i gotta confiscate the candy canes from the jims. i'll see you at home, dark."he squeezes around dark once more and moves to leave, stopping before he opens the door, "oh! i...i found that while looking for the christmas tree in the storage back home. i...i have a feeling it's yours. broke it in for ya!" he laughs as he leaves. dark turns around to see a black mug with a cursive 'D' on it. an intense emotion of...nostalgia rushing over him despite not remembering the mug. he stares out the window again as he holds the hot mug to him. he looks down to see hot chocolate and marshmallows. he smiles and sips the hot drink. this season isn't so bad after all with people like wilford in his life.--the septiceyesthis...was going to be the best surprise, marvin thought to himself. thanks to a new trick he'd learned -- he successfully figured out how to move the mistletoe to wherever he wanted, as if he had hung them everywhere. he was sure it'd be a laugh to see everyone's reactions. making anti kiss the pizza delivery guy, making dr. schneeplestein kiss whatever old patient he was seeing, maybe making robbie kiss his reflection. it'd be hilarious nonetheless. marvin, the marvelous magician, shall wow and dazzle his fellow egos!!he hid behind the couch in the lobby of their headquarters, where they hold their meetings, and waited.and waitedand waited/and waited/.growing tired as nobody walked by, had they found out about his plan? did nobody just need to come this way?he saw jackieboy man walk by and perked up, using his wand to move the mistletoe closer under him, rushing out the door to call him back as he left."j-jackie!! hey...oh shit," he looked up as he noticed he was directly under the mistletoe.jackieboy raised an eyebrow before looking up. "aha, you want to meet me here?" he smirks, catching marvin's chin in his fingers, flipping down his mask and red hoodie, soft green hair cascading down his face. a blush crossing marvin's cheek."just us two? alone here, the christmas decorations and lights lighting up your face so softly...""um, i mean--""here? under..." jackieboy looks up. suggestive. marvin not knowing if it was humanly possible to blush anymore."jackie...""THE MISTLEFOE?!""wha--" he ducked as jackieboy tackled him, wrestling him to the floor as chase and anti walked by. anti shouting as chase winced."get the magic nerd!! get the magic nerd!!" anti shouts"THE HELL IS A MISTLEFOE?!" marvin yells as he taps out with his wand from jackieboy man's headlock. ripping away his cat mask."pssh, the mistlefoe!! put two people under that," jackieboy points to the mistletoe, "and have 'em duke it out, fight and stuff. you dont know about the best winter tradition?""erm...its actually meant for the two to--" chase is cut off as marvin uses his wand to seal his lips shut, chase giving him the middle finger and pointing to his lips.marvin used his magic to burn the magic mistletoe attached to the doorframe. cringing as jackieboy man helped him up. helping him walk to dr. schneep's office"better luck next year, magic boy!!""....i hate working here," marvin coughs as he waits for the doctor. this, was going to be a very long winter. ******the doctor clocks out early, waving goodbye to the other egos....at 10 am, after working for 45 minutes."dude, ya can't just up and leave!! we need help with decorating!! and baking the cookies!!" jackieman boy yells as chase nearly stumbles carrying in the tree. "i must!!" the doctor yells, "chase, you are in charge until i get back at...well, just know you're all working late tonight!"chase gives a thumbs up, pointing at anti as he walks by, already directing them all.the drive to the mall isn't too long, he runs towards the opening, still in his doctor uniform. this time of year was perfect for his giving heart. already having a mile long list of gift ideas for every one of the egos in his pocket, his credit card with his savings from all his paychecks since last year loaded onto it -- no price limit for anyone!! and he finally healed from his injuries after black friday and cyber monday!! (hey, those internet shoppers are no joke)he practically skips into the mall with glee at the decorations. giant christmas gift boxes, fake snow, even a 'winter wonderland' with a fake santa -- wait...was that his patient bobby dressed up? bobby with the bad smoking habit?"i hope he cleaned up for the kiddies," schneep says to himself as he rushes into the first store -- a new camera for chase on the top of his list!!he gets everyone everything -- new knife collection for anti!! a new tux for marvin!! every single marvel movie for jackieboy man!! stuffed animals and candy for robbie!! a top hat for dapper jack!!and that's just for the first day of december, he plans to do this all until christmas eve, already having different wrapping for each ego's gift. until he sees it. his own personal wish. the 35 book set of medical mysteries -- all in order, and all for him.until another hand touches the set too. dr. iplier staring at him from the other side of the shelf. downright glaring. "henrik.""edward."the two stare back in spite -- no, schneep /needed this/. he worked too damn long this year to be bested by some quack doctor ego."aha," schneep laughs, obviously fake, "what are you doing here?""shopping for christmas. i was just looking at this book set i wanted for myself."fuck. schneep tugs on the set. dr. iplier's hand not going away. "oh, really?" he smiles coldly, "so. was. i."dr. iplier tugs, schneep tugs, the two turning into a tug of war before schneep pulls him against the wooden shelf in the bookstore, yelling as they fight it out. the early morning shoppers crowding around them, recording as schneep hold dr. iplier in a headlock. "THOSE BOOKS ARE MINE, YOU PRICK.""OVER MY DEAD BODY, QUACK.""OH THAT CAN BE ARRANGED, BITCH.""TRY ME, YOU ASSHOLE."schneep pulls out the scalpel he keeps in his pocket. the two fighting more, knocking displays over and taking it outside to the winter wonderland exhibit. children running and screaming as they crash into santa's sleigh. finally -- they're broken apart by santa (bobby). schneep grabbing his items from the bookstore and rushing out the mall. not wanting to deal with police or security. wiping away tears as he drives back. thankfully -- good old smoking santa (bobby), his faithful patient, was head of security at the mall. "its christmas," he later told schneep on the phone (and dr. iplier), "just...stay outta the mall for a good two days and i'll pretend not a single thing happened"schneep wiped away tears as he layer learned -- hey, the bookstore had tons of copies of the book set they were fighting over, that was just a display!he, however blushes as chase, anti, and robbie crowd around chase's phone. the video from his fight going viral online. "doc!! you're trending under #ThoseBooksAreMine!! that's awesome as hell, you'll be a meme!!" chase praises. schneep shakes his head. nursing the black eye he has. he knows it'll be worth it when he sees their laughing and happy faces on christmas day.because he knows damn well, marvin would forget presents and anti would die before he got presents for anyone else.******"a puppy!!" chase smiles as he walks into their ego headquarters with anti. heavy coats and scarves on. a smaller dog being walked by a young boy trotting on. "ew." anti drinks the starbucks chase bought him, "dogs are gross--"chase gasps, "i...am offended on behalf of all dogs, dude!!" "what? its a dirty animal that tracks mud and barely listens.""sure you're not describing yourself, dude?" chase jokes as anti rolls his eyes. "how could you want a little disgusting creature like that?""they're cute, they're playful, they cuddle up to ya when its cold, they bark!!" chase goes on and on, sitting down in the meeting room as they wait for the others, "they keep ya company, they nip at ya when they're hungry, they...they love you unconditionally...they...won't be taken away from ya," he stops, sniffling. tears forming in his eyes, memories of christmases long gone hitting him. seeing his son and daughter excitedly wake up him and stacey to open gifts. going ice skating. baking cookies.shit."...chase?"chase shakes his head and wipes a tear, "sorry, bro. i...i'm just caught up in my feelings. this time of year and, missing my kids."anti looks down into his coffee cup. damn, chase has been through a lot. he's the only ego who keeps it together -- not like him who just...glitches out at emotions. "...it's fine." anti grumbles under his scarf, "i'm sure this christmas will be...okay.""really?" "...yeah, really. even with that stacey keeping the kids, this christmas will be worthwhile. i mean, we got...decorating and shit to do today. that'll take your mind off it, right?""y-yeah, and the kids are suppose to call after school...and, and stacey's letting me come to their christmas play!! you're right, for once, anti!!" chase smiles and hugs him, anti awkwardly patting back. "okay...hug's been too long, don't push it chase.""sorry."...everyone had called chase a dumbass to give a copy of his apartment keys to anti. everyone had doubted anti would show any spirit in the season. everyone had doubted chase would get anything he really wanted for christmas, even schneeplestein.anti snuck into chase's apartment that christmas eve. chase down for the night in his bedroom. a small 4 foot christmas tree decorated in lights and ordainments in the corner of his living room. a letter from his kids (that anti skimmed through) on the table. "let's prove all those dicks back at hq wrong," he whispers to the bundle in his arms. setting it under the tree. it'd been absolute hell to get anyone to allow him to take home chase's gift. grunting as he sat on the couch and nodded off into sleep. the dalmatian puppy slept too, a red collar around it's neck, tail wagging in its sleep as it was thankful for anti for getting him out of the cold shelter. excited to meet his new master in the cold christmas morning.

[rantingnbanting]

Euphoria season 1 Review

**SPOILERS**

Welp episode 8 has me in actual tears

Mini 1x08 review: (because why the fuck not)

I LOVE YOU CASSIE <3

Jules, I understand why you left. You felt suffocated in the little town and needed to spread your wings. But DAMNIT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE LIKE THAT.

I honestly feel bad for Nate. He’s going through a lot right now (and am I the only one that thinks Cal just wet a lil overboard with Nate? Yeah he was being an asshole, but Nate was pushed so far that he has some type of attack on the floor).

That being said,

Fuck you Nate. Abusive asshole. Just leave Maddy alone. She’s so supportive of you and you figuring out your sexuality, and all she wants is for you to be okay. I get that there’s a lot stress in your life right now, but please don’t take it out on Maddy. She’s so broken too :(

I honestly thought fez was going to kill Nate, and I’m really happy he didn’t

THAT ENDING THOUGH

THIS BITCH WAS ON THE EDGE OF HER SEAT THE ENTIRE TIME

IM SO EMOTIONALLY CONFUSED

But we’ll leave the rest for the main review ;)

~~~~~

OKAY COMMENSE SEASON REVIEW!!!

My plan is to address plot stuff (characters too!) and then technical stuff

Story (in general):

KUDOS KUDOS KUDOS. FUCKING FABULOUS. My thoughts watching this was “this feels so real”. I honestly never thought that it seemed at all cliche, which is a feeling a tend to get when I watch something set in high school. I liked how all of the girls were friends and there weren’t cliques.

I also liked how all of the stories were coexisting at the same time and they all worked to gesteht very well. I never felt like the show was cramming I details or overcompensating, which was nice. At the beginning of the show, I did get confused A LOT with all of the characters’ names but that was because they introduced all of the characters at the same time.

I never had a problem with pacing, which can be a huge pet peeve of mine so I applaud ye.

Overall, very well done.

Ending:

I always do a separate review for the ending because, in my unprofessional opinion, it the most important part of a story.

This ending made me emotional but also confused and slightly angry

Allow me to elaborate

If you follow me or have read some of my reviews, you know that I like solidified answers and no loose ends. Well this ending gave me tons of loose ends, which annoys me slightly.

But I knows this is only because they were planning on renewing it for another season (which they did thank god), so I can live with that.

A good point was made during a sincast episode. These problems that every character goes through do happen in real life. But the fact that all of them are happensjng in the same town is kind of hard to believe

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/sincast-presented-by-cinemasins/id1073364619?i=1000445028205 here’s the link to that episode. I think the part where they talk about euphoria starts around the hour mark, right after the ad

The confusion and emotion go hand in hand because of rue and Jules’ ending.

HOT DAMN

NOT AT ALL WHAT I WAS EXPECTING

Well, I was expecting that Jules and Rue were going to fall out about something and Rue was going to go back to drugs.

BUT NOT LIKE THAT

AND THAT SONG AT THE END

ANRJRBDHD

if somebody could send that to me or tell me what it’s called, I’d hella appreciate it ty

And yeah, we didn’t get a happy ending. But what the ambiguous ending leaves for is utter excitement for season 2

And who knows when that will come out :’)

Rue &Jules:

Honestly, I fuckin called it. I knew they weren’t going to last because they never seemed to make it work.

This is also a “real” moment because it displays that not all teen relationships work out. In cliche movies, the main couple work through their relationship and end up getting married. But this reminds you that real life doesn’t work that way.

As a tv watcher, I liked that rue eventually went back drugs. It seemed kind of obvious, almost to the point where it’s too obvious to do it, and that’s why I liked that they did that. As a fan of the show, I’m fucking pissed because that means that poor rue is going to have to start back at square one, but without her resources that helped her stay clean the first time.

I think I wrote in my first or second review of the show that I liked rue and Jules’ friendship, and I still agree with that. The friendship is what held rue together. But when things started to progress further than that, and the pair became romantically involved, that’s when the relationship became toxic. And that’s what’s sad. They both needed a rock to support them, but that support was almost immediately ruined when they became a “thing”

Kat:

I liked Kat’s wardrobe change! When she lost her virginity, she seemed to become an entirely different person. And I’m pretty sure her appearance shift has ulterior motives (maybe some self consciousness..?) but she seemed to spread out of her shell abut, and I liked that.

IM SO HAPPY SHE AND ETHAN GOT TOGETHER IN THE END!!! <333333

But this brings up a lot of questions: is she going to continue with camming? (I think yes). If she does how will everyone especially Ethan react?

Idkklk

Nate, Cal, and Maddy:

This one im intrigued to see where it is going to go. Because the last episode left us with a lot of loose ends:

Rue, Jules, Nate, and Maddy know about cal’s hookups

Nate and Maddy are the only ones with proof

Is Maddy going to keep quiet about this? We never really saw her reaction to the video or which video it was

Cal is potentially abusive toward his son

Nate takes a lot after his dad

Nate has a lot of built up emotion and tends to take it out on the people in ramonatocqlly involved with

Alexa Demie and Jacob Elordi are also phenomenal and their chemistry in stage is matches exactly how Maddy and Nate are suppose to act towards each other

McKay & Cassie:

I’m about to eat my fucking foot

I actually really liked this story in the end. I just think I dragged a lot because Cassie’s and McKay’s episodes were at the end of the season. When their episodes aired, I immediately liked the show and their story better.

And that’s just a problem with the story. I fell like this section of the story could have progressed more by the time their episodes came up, to at least build suspense.

But Sydney Sweeney is probably one of my favorites actresses in the show because of how emotional and open she became when Cassie was pregnant and had her abortion. It broke Cassie, and Sydney portrayed that excellently

Quality:

Really good. Seemed to be shot on a nice camera. The camera angles were kind of wonky sometimes, but it never felt like too much and it always seems to match what what’s happeneing during the scene

Rating/content:

Definitely TV-MA. Please use discretion when watching this. It’s a hard watch, and, like podcast says, it would not get an R rating if it were a movie. Honestly the sex scenes bothered me way more than the drugs, but that’s my personal opinion. All of the things that make this TV-MA are essential to the show though, so you can’t cut that stuff out

Overall...

Very impressed. I did like the ending a lot, and I can’t wait for what season 2 has in store :)

[replacewythy]

Teenagers With Attitude Episode 123

I can't even believe how far off Joel's Ninjor impression is, it's like it's a completely different impression. "I heard him more as Marvin the Martian." Yeah, that's what that impression actually was. "I'm so glad to guest on this podcast show called Teenagers With Attitude." "Hold on, is Emily more of a regular than Matt now?" I'm pretty sure Emily is more of a regular than anyone else at this point! "You're our Finster, actually, you might've left for a while but you're still in the crew." "I wasn't here last week, but I assume I missed nothing?" Matt is apparently shocked about the existence of Optimus Primal, here on this podcast with the host of another podcast about Beast Wars. Emily is right, the white ranger is the actual leader of the team in Kakuranger. "Here's the thing: evil and unhinged but not entirely committed to it is the picture-perfect profile of a lifetime cop." "God damnit." "I told you, all this time ago, mouths can hold things." that's a fuckin callback "Also, it's crotch is just the face of the frog, and I love that every podcast I do ends up with crotch face." I definitely think the fucking cop montage song is hilarious. "Bulk finally learned how to control his clown magic! That's the only way they could've gotten this stuff!" fuck, that's exactly what happened "He can be your angle or your demon." This episode: characters who are bulls "Ninjor rides a cloud, then goes to hell." That is what happens. "They spared every expense on this." "I love that we here at Teenagers With Attitude know a lot about floppy swords, ladies and gentlemen, you know what I'm talking about." "Finster? I haven't heard that name in such a long time." "We did that joke already." hell yeah, the Teenies "I hate that we've done this long enough that this is an actual fuckin' tradition." I would say Wild West Rangers for best multi-parter, it was amazing and also I was on the podcast one of those episodes. "I mean, if we're judging these based on the podcast that came out of it, Mike can't even properly vote in this because he was missing for Wild West Rangers." "I mean, listen, guys, I'm sorry, but every time I try to sit down and try to watch it, I black out, and then I wake up in the bathroom of a fuckin' Longhorn Steakhouse, so" "There's Storybook Rangers, which I will not allow anyone to put on this list, no FUCKING matter what you say, it's garbage" "Well, it's a really tough call, but I gotta go with Storybook Rangers." I don't fuckin remember any of the single episodes "I'm going to go with Zedd's Monster Mash, because being a dick to children is funny." "Let's not mention Friend In Need ever again." "I don't think the show is going to, so" Who would leave a review specifically saying they wouldn't listen to any episode Matt was on, was it Matt? "remember that we're actual human beings who, probably have feelings?" I'm glad Frankie showed up to say the monster's voice was racist at the end, it seemed bad to me but I wasn't sure.

[musicismymoirail]

Ok! I'm awake again, so I thought I'd collect my thoughts more about where I am in Persona 5. c: Like always, major spoilers ahead!

I'm still ecstatically pleased Akechi stabbed me in the back shot me in the fuckin' face! :D I'm glad there were hints about his true nature that game goes over too but like (unlike?) with Haru's dad, I wish it had been discussed in the game prior to the reveal so people could've grappled with it? Like have Morgana say the plan is sketchy and have you either agree with him or defend Akechi. I mean, I wouldn't have but it would've been a more interesting thing to roleplay, imo, even if the end result was the same.

Also, now I'm wondering if he'll have a heel-face-turn in the end? I'm only rank 8 with him so I don't know if I failed his social link or if there's more. Morgana made it seem like there’s going to be more. I guess we'll see in the end.

But seriously, fuck that dude.

Post all of that~ I do like that my max'd social links texted me to see if I was okay. Because I'm a sap and I love friendships and those are always my favorite scenes. c: <33 I only have five max'd so far (Mishima, Ryuji, Ann, Yoshida and Tae) so it'll be interesting to see if more pop up as the game goes on or in the new game+ since I still haven't max'd my stats yet. u____u;; I want to finish up Iwai and Sojiro's links, damnit!! 

Speaking of links!

Iwai hasn't let me down yet! Go Hanged Man trifecta! Unconventional families are so my fuckin' jam and I like how much Iwai cares about his son. I really hope I get to hang out with Kaoru in the future again because he seemed like a really sweet kid. I also really want to go to Planetarium with them too. :( I'd date Iwai too if given the chance, let's be real. If I can date Ohya, I should be able to date Iwai too.

Just sayin’.

Fortune is probably that other social link I always end up liking a lot like Moon & Hanged Man, and Chihaya is not an exception to this rule! I'm, high in my rank with her like maybe seven? So I'm hoping I'll have her max'd soon enough! :D I feel bad for the situation she's in, and it makes sense she'd cling to Holy Stones just for the hope of something better in life. I like her desperate hope to cling to anything that offered a chance at a better tomorrow. Being a flat-out scam artist would've been cool too, like seeing you change her mind about fate being real instead of changing her mind about how malleable it is, but it makes more sense for the confidant aspect. So, I'm chill.

Ohya's drinking still bugs me. :( 

And Shinya! Oh, this poor boy. I seriously always love doing the child-centric links too, Maiko & Shu from the previous game. I like that he's an utter brat but it's totally understandable why he takes to winning and the Phantom Thieves in general like he did between the bullying and his parent's divorce and wanting to be strong for his mother. I really, want to just go to his school though and be like 'wtf! why aren't you stopping this bullying!?'. Like! The kid got so happy I took him out to eat because he can't do that at school! WTF. I feel bad for his mom too, but lady, please pay attention to your son.

Urgh, I hope he gets a happy ending in the end. :(

Okay! Enough with the links!

CAN WE TALK ABOUT SHIDO? :D

Namely, his boat. Oh my god, I love it so damn much. He said a thing about sailing during his campaign speech and I was like, 'It's a boat? ? ? ???????' Which I wasn't crazy about, ideawise, until I saw the execution of it! Haru's explanation sells it so so hard. Which, I didn't save, and it's not in the wiki article and I'm so sad about that now.

Something like, ‘Even if the country drowns, I’ll stay adrift.’ It’s just a good line mixed the visual of the drowned ruins of Japan as this majestic yacht sails unconcerned by. It’s just, if you didn’t want to crush this dude beforehand, this scene sells it beautifully and simply imo.

But, yes! I like the boat. I just like watching it sail through the sunken ruins of the city as the Ark plays in the background. That song may be my favorite I've heard so far. It's just, fuckin' great. It sounds majestic and confident and like you're getting ready to slay it on a yacht with your treasure crew with all the style and grace you can be allowed. I. Love. It. So. Goddamn. Much.

There’s a link if you wanna listen. c:

Also, you were supposed to think Shido was the dude that fucked up Protag's life right? I was thinking that might be it since the restaurant scene off and on but I figured Protag would've recognized his face if that was the case. o:

But if he only (in theory) saw him during that one night, it makes sense? Why he didn't? I doubt Shido would've gone to the trial himself, so I'm okay with that.

I'm still not sure if there's gonna be a world-ending supernatural conspiracy like there was in Persona 3 & 4 but if there isn't, I can't begin to explain how really okay with the world-ending conspiracy you need to stop just being a corrupt egomaniacal politician adrift on his shitty yacht with all his followers praising him blindlessly as the world drowns around him.

:l

:l 

:l

Yup.

Time to play again!

[dungeonmasterpoisonbite]

Wednesday Friendsday Mission Logs: Goblins in Suburbia

Keeper Representative #298:

Interparty Communication Hub Rules

1-no explicit nsfw content such as overtly explicit text or imagery

2-more rules will be added as the need arises

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens.

🚐Jevans🎷: thats jevans mate

whats up?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i have a mix CD. Can i bring it?

🚐Jevans🎷: depends

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: on what?

🚐Jevans🎷: whats on it?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: you know. Good music.

-posts link to bass boosted "Down Under" by Men At Work (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wC-dS7JmCbY)

🚐Jevans🎷: is there anything else but that song on it?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: absolutely not

🚐Jevans🎷: good

oh oh

El 🐍: do you mean you have twelve to fourteen of the same song on one CD?

🚐Jevans🎷: im pickin you up first sweets

El 🐍: also, um, Mr. Evans? Is it okay to bring food in your car?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

🚐Jevans🎷: so long as theres enough for your driver

El 🐍: okay, well. I'm not sure but my sister ordered Chinese food. She may finish it before you get here, though. Would you like the fortune cookie?

👊Dee Foster thats the best part though el!!!!!

El 🐍: they gave us two... I was thinking he could have mine.

Jev: sure ill polish yer leftovers

👊Dee Foster BUT

fine he can have it -frowny imp emoji-

El 🐍: did....did you want them both?

🚐Jevans🎷: hey dee can have it

i read the docs and dont want her mad at me

👊Dee Foster NO you have it L.O.L.

i was only teasing!!!!

-XD emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: alright hahahahsdfsdaf

oops

El 🐍: Mr. Evans, would you like any of this ma po tofu?

🚐Jevans🎷: only if yer not eatin eat

its ahrd to eat when im driving with passengers

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: are you texting whilst driving??

El 🐍: are you implying our driver would break the law???

🚐Jevans🎷: hahahaha

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. he better not be!!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: HAHAH

El 🐍: :\

🚐Jevans🎷: absolutely not

speech-to-text mates

Nelherin: that can still be distracting!!

El 🐍: Wow your dictation software must be very advanced to know to capitalize your laughter with emphasis!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: magic SIRI

El 🐍: oh my gosh, if Mr. Evans has a magic phone, i want one.

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : is it okay with everyone if i photo document our adventures?

🚐Jevans🎷: this is expensive hardware, you gotta work a long time to get it

but all in good time El

and so long as you dont flash in the vehicle sure

El 🐍: I mean, i've got an iPhone, but it isn't magic.

Nelherin, I'm fine with that, as long as you don't make them available publicly online. Last semester one of my students posted a picture of me on Facebook and tagged it "That Weird Nerd" and I thought that was really unkind.

👊Dee Foster WHAT!!!! YOU DIDNT TELL ME THAT!!!! WHO WAS IT!!!! WAIT IM IN THE ROOM WITH YOU

El 🐍: It was super unflattering too. :(

👊Dee Foster -three red angry emojis-

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i won't release them publicly! I think that might get me in trouble with the keepers, hah...

El 🐍: okay, that's fine! If you tag me, please tag me as EL SHRIVER.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i have stickers

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!

What kind of stickers?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: stickers for a scrapbook

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : oh i love scrapbooking!

Maybe i could photodocumennt with a scrapbook!

El 🐍: I have stickers for coding my planner! There are different ones for meetings, classes, study sessions, and even a little cup of coffee! I'm coding these missions as "gym" so that Dee thinks I'm exercising.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: well now she knows

El 🐍: Oh shoot.

🚐Jevans🎷: no one tell el they can delete messages

El 🐍: Oh this isn't a static record of our communications?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : you just told them by saying that??

jevans; well yeah im the cool driver

and no el its not static

El 🐍: Well. I still think we should be keeping some record of what we do and if I just go back and edit what I say, that's like changing history.

🚐Jevans🎷: you could hop over to Keeper Chat and bug 298

👊Dee Foster HEY!!!! I JUST SAW THAT!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: they could prolly change it for you

👊Dee Foster next time i go to the gym youre going with me el!!!!

El 🐍: oh... oh boy.

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : do you think the keepers would be okay with it if i photo document our adventures?

🚐Jevans🎷: dunno

i mean

i snap all the time

no ones said nothin yet

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : in my experience, if anything... strange shows up in pictures, most people usually assume its just photo editing and sfx makeup, so i don't think there should be a problem? But i don't wanna get in trouble!!

🚐Jevans🎷: i dont think theyd mind

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!! i dont think anyone outside of this group will be seeing most of the pictures, but i wanna be safe just in case!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens do you have snapchat

🚐Jevans🎷: yee

note

that statement is a BITCH to get speech-to-text to get properly

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : did you have to spell it out??

🚐Jevans🎷: nah i gotta say it like just right

like if i go too much towards yeah itll get that instead

but yeah doesnt have the right spirit yaknow?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: incredible

avery: so like is this the chat or whatever?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : yep!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: hi miss avery

its me, the green one

avery: am i supposed to talk to you guys

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : if you want to!!

avery: um

hey

who are you

El 🐍: Nice to meet you, Avery! The dossier says you're a student?

Avery: who are any of you

yea i guess

i'm in high shook

school whatever

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: im sweet. Sweet ghoulman. We've met. With the wizard?

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. hello!!!!

avery: oh you're the creepy guy

cool i guess

hi?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: oh, thank you.

El 🐍: ... that isn't very nice. :\

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : why is sweets creepy

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: nelherin you havent met me yet

avery: wait if you're in this chat im gonna have to like. Interact with you

yikes

i guess i'm not very nice

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : uhm, you're free to call me henri instead if you wish

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: miss avery we're on this mission together

avery: just avery's fine dude

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: avery we're on this mission together, you have my condolences

but i made a mix cd so it should be fine

El 🐍: I feel like this is an inappropriate use of the word "mix."

🚐Jevans🎷: shhhhhh

itll be a surprise el

unless avery reads from the start

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i agree with el...

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: only jevans understands me

🚐Jevans🎷: but i dont think avery has that much interest in seeing what weve talked about

El 🐍: thank you! Henri? May I call you Henri?

🚐Jevans🎷: sweets want my snapchat?

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens can i have your #

yes absolutely

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : you can!

Avery: wait we're allowed to have snap chats?

🚐Jevans🎷: alright buddy ill shoot it at you privately mate

avery: dammnit i deleted mine

🚐Jevans🎷: oops

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

avery: can i curse here

🚐Jevans🎷: what kind of curse????

avery: is that allowed or whatever

like can i say fuck

🚐Jevans🎷: cuz like i know yer a wizard-ankle-biter

oh ye

fucking say fucking fuck as many fucking times as you fucking want

avery: literally the fuck now i have to make a new snapchat

god fucking damnit

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B O

👊Dee Foster -BO emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: sweets i read that as bow and thought odd but afreed

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B0

avery: oh not emojis

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : what's wrong with emojis??

avery: come on y'all are older than me right

👊Dee Foster -frowny imp emoji- WHATS WRONG WITH EMOJIS????

🚐Jevans🎷: that one is slightly less bow

like a quieter bow

soft bow

avery: just childish

🚐Jevans🎷: avery yer like 12 chill

avery: but if you wanna play it that way then be my guest

El 🐍: I read it as B.O. and was hoping I wouldn't be the only odd-smelling person on the trip...

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : but emojis are fun

👊Dee Foster -worried emoji, anguished emoji, frowning emoji-

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: emojis... are timeless

youll be in good company el

🚐Jevans🎷: except for -watch emoji-

avery: bad joke jevans

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i thought it was funny!!

El 🐍: L O L

👊Dee Foster L.O.L.!!!!

🚐Jevans🎷: eeeeeeeeeh henri can sit in the front

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : yay!! :D

avery: can i bring my headphones to wherever we're going

🚐Jevans🎷: -another different watch emoji-

sure mate

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens is great

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : jevans, will you be picking anyone up soon??

🚐Jevans🎷: OH SHIT

right yeah

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : ...

🚐Jevans🎷: ill be-CALCULATING

fuckin gps

avery: who're you getting first

🚐Jevans🎷: uuuuuuh

right sweets

okay sweets im gonna be like swinging by you gotta hop in through the window

not comin to a full stop either you gotta just jump in

El 🐍: WHAT???

avery: UM WHAT

LIKE FOR ALL OF US

👊Dee Foster CAN I DO THAT TOO!!!!!

Avery: wait a fcking second im a fucking vampire

never fucking mind my caps lock

El 🐍: DON'T ENCOURAGE DEE TO DO THAT

👊Dee Foster -flexing arm emoji followed by mischievious imp emoji-

🚐Jevans🎷: nah only sweets

if i run sweets over hell be okay

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: thanks

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : uhm....

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: im flexible. Roll down the passenger window

👊Dee Foster IM NOT GETTING IN THE CAR UNLESS ITS THAT WAY

🚐Jevans🎷: didnt you guys get the psych profiles and background check documentaion?

Avery: the what

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : no??

dee, you might get hurt

El 🐍: I read them all very thoroughly

avery: will there be a test on that

El 🐍: Don't worry! I have an annotated copy!

Avery: or um anything actually

oh. gee. How exciting. Thanks

El 🐍: Will there be a test?? : D

👊Dee Foster O.M.G. I WANT TO THOUGH

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : i'm a little bit scared...

🚐Jevans🎷: okay sweets

like five minutes

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens just snapchatted me a picture of a rolled down suv window

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : does your car accomidate tall people??

El 🐍: not a concern for us! : D

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : it is for me

El 🐍: Yes, I know.

Avery: how tall

like 6'0"?

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : exactly

avery: whatever i'm like 5'6"

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : ... am i the tallest one??

🚐Jevans🎷: okay one down

okay

henri youre next

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: i landed a little bit on the stick. Its fine i dont bruise

🚐Jevans🎷: ill stop properly

SNERK

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : okay!!

El 🐍: Are the doors locked?

🚐Jevans🎷: not when I stop

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : this music is... strange

El 🐍: Oh, man, someone down the street has a really intense subwoofer situation.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: thanks

👊Dee Foster I MEANT IT WHEN I SAID I WANTED TO JUMP IN!!!!!!

avery: what music

are y'all near each other

🚐Jevans🎷: dont worry avery

youre the furthest out

might be a bit before we can get you

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: youll hear it soon miss avery

avery

🚐Jevans🎷: but dee and el, ill be there in a mo

avery: of course i'm the last one. Of fucking course

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: move into town avery

avery: couldn't have gotten me first huh?

El 🐍: Oh okay. Never mind about that subwoofer thing.

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: B]

avery: am i the only one left

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: MADE IT!!!!

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: you'll hear us coming

🔥 Nelherin ⚡ : dee landed on the floor!!

avery: are y'all like in the city city? It's gonna be fucking while before me then

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: we are going very fast though

almost inadvisably fast

🚐Jevans🎷: yeah were looking at like thirty mins or so?

👊Dee Foster avery do you want something from 7/11!!!!

avery: dr pepper

and a honey bun

👊Dee Foster good choices!

🚐Jevans🎷: nvm were gettin you first avery give us five mins

LATER AT THE 7/11

🚐Jevans🎷: i want a six pack of something!

Hey

heeeeeeeeeeey

someone get me something

Sweet Ghoulman 💀: jevens what can i get you

jman

juice

🚐Jevans🎷: nah not juice

like

oh

six redbulls

or something like that

i got twenty bucks